A dyslexic Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. He hits his head on it and is rushed to the hospital,only to discover the floor drenched in triceratops shit.

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roses are red violets are blue last time i dropped something this hard it ended world war 2?

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why did the chicken cross the road? because there were no cars coming and it seemed like a safe time to cross

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i have Alzheimers, Roses are red

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Why did the black man fall down the stairs? Because he was blind

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Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach? She wanted a tattoo.

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Q: Why do Indians smell? A: Cause they have noses? Racist.

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Like is like a penis long and easy. But women make it hard

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a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

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What did the deaf boy get for Christmas? Something like udgtationdaidnmgf

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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The Charlotte Bobcats winning more than 10 games

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What do you call a big hungry duck? A duck thats hungry and big

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans

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A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

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whats worse than being raped by a giant scorpion getting raped by 2 giant scorpions

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whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

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...The new series of spinoff movies from the worlds most frightening franchise! Pretty Normal Activity: Doing the groceries *****-Did not scare me at all :D! Ballbusters movie rentals *****- The demon never showed up which made this the scariest movie ever! Could not sleep for months... Whatyumean there is nothing paranormal in this? Aww FU*beep*CK!! Sumgay Inthestreet Journal *****-Pissed myself just from hearing the title got a stroke and almost died!, was it another Paranormal movie you said? Most overhyped comment we could find. Goddamn exaggerated movie reviews that fooled me into buying the original and expect something actually scary :(

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Josh Moran sticks polish sausage up his ear and moves it back and forth while squeezing his balls until they rupture.

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There was a guy and a girl naked in bed, sleeping together. When they woke up they didn't remember the last 72 hours and wanted some questions answered, including Where am I? Who are you? What year is it? What's my name?

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 went to a house party. 7 was there. 7 and 6 kind of new each other. They went to the same school, but weren`t really friends. All night 7 was giving 6 strange looks. 6 started feeling uneasy, so he left the party early. When 6 got in his car 7 was inside waiting for him and pulled out a gun. Luckily 6 got away from 7 safely, but has been scared of him ever since.

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Q: What do you do when you see a man with no arms and no legs walking down the street? A: You wonder how the hell he is walking

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How did the rabbi die? It didnt it lived through the shooting

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Anne Widdecombe becomes attractive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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