What do you call a fish with no eyes? a fish:)

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A murderer walks into a bar with a knife. He then stabs seven people and is then arrested shortly after.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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There was a farmer had a dog and Bingo was his name-oh But the farmer killed and ate him, because Bingo licked himself inappropriately

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What's sadder than a dead baby? Any dead adult, considering how much more they've contributed to society.

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why was the man on the roof? he was about to commit suicide.

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A chinese man walks into a kitten store. He is a nice man in search of a companion.

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Knock Knock *opens the door*

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Once upon a time

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender then looks down and realizes that the pirate has a steering wheel on his penis. "Sir, are you aware that you have a steering wheel on your penis?" the bartender asks. "Arrrrrrr! It's driving me crazy! I just woke up one day and it was there!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon, it looks like it could be very harmful to your health and slightly uncomfortable. Not to mention your penis is out in the open." "You are right, what was I thinking?" The pirate agreed. He proceeded to get his friend to drive him to a hospital, for drinking and driving is not safe, and steering wheels on penises are not healthy.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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What did the Pedophile say to the small girl? I have served my sentence and been successfully rehabilitated. Please continue playing out in public without fear of being sexually assaulted.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like you Get in the van

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What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Okay, are you a tree? A: No, no I am not.

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knoc knock! who's there? poo on! poo on who? you!

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Starting a Genocide #YOLO

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What is a dogs favorite color? Gray due to the fact that they cant see any other color

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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knock knock who's there? to to who? to whom*

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Don't read this or I'll be angry ...…...... Darn you...

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what did the duck with roller skates say to the camel? how are the wife and kids?

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Why was the muslim surprised? A tyrannosaurus rex bit off his legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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