When life gives you lemons, you make grape juice and let the world wonder how you made it.

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The anti joke that repeats itself :(

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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tomorrows international kill and orphan day, how meany of the sad bastard's you plan on baking into dough?

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Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? A: You open the door put the giraffe in and the close the door. Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? A: You open the door to the refrigerator take the giraffe out then put the elephant in and close the door. Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend but one, which one is it? A: The elephant it's in the fridge Q: You have to cross a river that is inhabited by crocodiles how do you cross it? A: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

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A man walked into a house, He never came back out as he fell down the stairs and snapped his neck, His family mourn him everyday.

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a black guy, mexican guy, and asian guy race to hop over a window. Who was the LAST one to hop it? the mexican because he had to clean it first.

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what would Jesus do? Get crucified and die.

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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3 women are on a plane. One blonde, one brunnete, and the other a red head. The pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. The 3 women find out that there is only one parachute in the plane. The plane crashes and they all die.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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How do you fit four gay men on a bar stool? You build an exceptionally large bar stool

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What's the ultimtate guerilla camoflauge at night time? Black people.

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Who is best known for causing the Mt. St. Helens Eruption, The World Series Earthquake, and The Asian Tsunami in 2004? According to insurance companies, God.

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The Lord told Moses to come forth. He tripped and came fifth.

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What did the little girl buy for her cat? A box to bury him in.

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Why is Ellen Degeneres gay? Because she likes the same sex

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What did the teenage girl text her friend while driving? It doesn't matter, she's dead now. Don't text and drive.

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Yo mama's so white that she has to use lots of sunscreen to prevent from getting sunburned.

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whats annoying and won't go away?. Aids.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? The incident happened to substantiate stereotypes and condone racism.

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Hitler said "Jew mad?" I did nazi that coming !

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A: A quadriplegic.

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What is hard, long, moist, and flesh colored? A hotdog you dirty, dirty bastard!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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