Why did the child with one arm shave his head? He is a swimmer.

What happened to timmy? He had downsyndrome and walked off a cliff

I road a horse to school. My friend stabbed it with a Javelin and screamed.... The horse was his Dad

Q) A Christian, slightly disabled but perfectly capable man has a packet of Jaffa Cakes. He strolls casually toward the edge of a cliff, rapidly checking his watch. The man slowly examins the packet before gradually opening the packaging. First the box, then the packet. He quickly throws the jaffa cakes over the edge of the cliff, Why? A) The man doesnt like jaffa cakes

josh is a skinny headed keppy mong

Why was the black man killed? He committed a serious crime and was issued the death penalty.

Q: What did the poor man do when he saw a Ferrari? A: He realized that he would really enjoy having the money to buy such a nice vehicle, so he decided to take it upon himself to enroll in night classes. After many years of hard work, he earned a degree and a high-paying position at a large software corporation, and bought his dream car. He often told the story to his children as an example of what hard work and a goal in mind could achieve you. He lived a long, productive life and died fulfilled.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Interrupting Pessimist. Interrupting Pessi- Slavery.

Your moms so fat She should get some help because there's nothing good about being fat

A panda walks into a bar and orders a beer and a hamburger. After he eats he stands up stretches and pulls out a gun shooting everyone in the room but the bartender. The panda puts $20 on the bar and turns to leave. As he walks out the door the bartender asks why the panda shot everyone. The panda tells him to look in the encyclopedia. The bartender looks up panda and he reads: "A rare bearlike mammal (Ailuropoda melanoleuca) of the mountains of China and Tibet, having woolly fur with distinctive black and white markings. Also called giant panda, panda bear." Seeing absolutely nothing in this description that would rationalize the homicides the panda had just committed, the bartender arrived at the reasonable conclusion that the panda was psychotic and having severe psychological problems which probably caused the incident. The bartender couldn't help but wonder if this tragedy could've been avoided had the panda been properly screened for schizophrenia and guns been properly secured in a safe at the panda's mother's house.

Did you know Hellen Keller had a tree house? Yeah..neither did she.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the KFC man was chasing him.

a guy walks into a bar. he suffered a severe concussion. BECAUSE THE BAR A POLE

"...."-Hellen Keller

How are a black man, a hispanic man, and a chinese man similar? Believe it or not they all love cantaloupe!

What is the difference between you and a brick? A brick gets laid.

When faced with an impossible question. I like to give, and maybe receive, an impossible, yet endearing, request/answer to the problem. Sex?

Why did the bear eat the asian? It was hungry

why did the Mexican make a burrito for his grandma? it's her favorite food and she has artheritis and its to painful for her to stand long enough to make one herself.

What did the blind man say when you asked hi his favorite color? Nothing he is death too

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

Why didn't Susie do her reading homework? She is blind and her school system cannot Afford to teach her to read braille

Why is my grandpa always so grumpy? Because he has diabetes and life is very difficult for him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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