How did the fat man survive the plane crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else!

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a cow walked into a bar and asked for a large whiskey on the rocks, 'long day, eh' said the barman, 'yes' replied the cow, 'first a large moving obstical was cutting down my food, and then my friend was raped from his milk.'

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What has red dots and is yellow all over A poisonous frog

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask him to lower the volume a bit and maybe also play a quieter tune.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Sometimes an alligator will bring you apples. Sometimes it won't.

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I heard you like getting dirty, so I got a dump truck to dump dirt on your bed so you can get dirty while you get dirty.

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What's red and has two legs? Half a cat!

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Who. Who, Who? Shut up you damn owl, I'm trying to deliver a pizza.

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Why did the pied piper eat tea half past three? Because the chicken tripped on the way across the street and the fat lady didn't sing.

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How do you choke a lawyer? You squeeze his neck until he stops breathing.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

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Why isnt there any mexicans on star trek? Because even in the future they dont work.

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DON"T READ THIS!

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my girlfriend had a weird fetish, she used to dress up like herself and act like a bitch all the time.

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What is blue and has clouds in it? The sky.

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How do you kill a blonde woman? Shoot her in the head

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How do you make a tree angry Overall trees have no sense of emotion therefore it is impossible to anger a tree.

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why couldn't the man play frisbee? he was a dog

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have aids, and now you do too!

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Why didn't Hitler go to heaven? He killed millions of jews and was an atheist.

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If an old person falls in the middle of the woods do they make a sound? No their died.

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Q: Why did Frank have a big horse named Bubba? A: He was allergic to cats

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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