What's sad about a black guy driving up a hill in a car? It's yor car

A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

Why are Pine trees green? Because light reflects at different wavelengths, and the chlorophyll, found in chloroplasts, being abundant in the needles of pine trees, Reflect the correct wavelength for green.

What's the difference between a dead black man in the road, and a dead dog in the road? One is a human being that probably leaves behind family and friends that will miss his absence. The other is an animal that will also be missed, but to a lesser degree since dogs don't form a bond with people other than the family it shared its life with. In either of the two cases, if I witnessed the accident that caused the death, I would promptly notify the authorities so as to make sure that the driver of the vehicle that hit them would be subjected to a breathalyzer test.

- What do you call a black pirate? + A Nig-ARRRRRRRRRR - No, a pirate you fucking racist

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken saw some potential food across the street.

Did you hear the one about the streetlight? It only came on at night.

What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red shirt.

Help i have fallen and i cannont get up Life alert life alert To bad just sit there we dont care

There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer

why does pink turn into blue it doesnt you just get hit by a frigde because you cried whe you got shot several times

Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he is no longer alive.

If you were a pie I'd eat you

What was in the magical purple teapot? Two dying pelicans.

A ginger man ascends to heaven and reaches the pearly gates, seconds later he wakes up in a hospital bed and realizes it was merely a near death hallucination and God isn't real.

Knock Knock I have a f*cking doorbell you asshole

Whats bigger than 'burger king'? A. burger

sweating like antoni with a girl

What did the black man get for Kwanza? AIDS

Yo mama has had so many kidney stones she has to be on a water diet.

Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Radley.

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

why did the little girl scream?She was afraid of clowns and hated small cars running around a tent

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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