What's black, white, and red all over? A dead panda.

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Why couldn't the cat drink the milk? Because it had no face.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

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If monkeys ate trees, than what would trees be made out of? No one knows because that will never happen.

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An African american man fell out of a boat at sea. He swam back to the boat.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I dont know so why are you asking?

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Want to hear a joke? 12 year olds

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was mauled by a bear!

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was deaf and blind.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's a good way to kill time? It's impossible to kill an inanimate object.

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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What did one dead baby say to the other dead baby? Nothing, they are both dead.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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Are you 9/11 because i would like you to destroy my tower.

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A horse shits himself SHITLESS!

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Why did the little boy want to sleep with his parents in their bed on the only night in weeks they'd planned to have sex? His bedroom was on fire.

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What do you call a Mexican that swam across the border? An illegal immigrant.

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cop arrests a jew and interrogates him Jew. i aint telling you nothing cop: really cop pours a bag of coins on the table jew: thats about $7.80 cop: you can have it if you tell us what we want to know jew: ok jew: i stole the money 123

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What dosent kill you only makes you injured

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What do you do when a black person steals your computer Inform the authorities, as theft is a felony.

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i quit soccer because science happened and then i forgot how to screw in a lightbulb

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Everything's brown Who shit on my flowers

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Whats white and sticky? Marshmellows

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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