I like my coffee the way I like my women.....without a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did muscleman say to his dad? You know who else is my dad? MY MOM!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

I hated hipsters before hating hipsters was mainstream. Does that make it sound like I have a fixed gear bicycle? Because I don't... I promise... What's a fixed gear bicycle, you ask? You mean you don't know???

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A duck walks into a bar *************************** Later that day the homeless man had duck for dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was standing next to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did i get some thing to eat? Because i was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the black guy have a bunch of marihuana? He was the owner of a shop that sold it for medical purposes.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Killing your friend as a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a gay man? Homosexual

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what do you get if you put a baby in a microwave? an erection

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Where's the best place to buy moon bars? Michael Toal

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is the girl next door.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the boy loose his hat Because he got hit by a plane

thumb_up thumb_down +25

whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A chinese man walks into a kitten store. He is a nice man in search of a companion.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

The air is green The grass is blue I'm bot stoned.. I'm just high

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what do you call a bird that is gay bird a gaybird

thumb_up thumb_down +23

justin bieber: ask me if im a boy are you a boy? no.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops