what would george washington do if he was alive today? he would scream and scratch his coffiin

I`m not as random as you think i`m salad.

Where did Jonathan go when the bombs hit? Everywhere.

What's black, white, and red all over? A pile of dead nuns.

Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer procrastinated fixing the latch on the coop. Did his wife warn him this would happen? Yessss! Did he listen? Noooo!

whats a diffrence between a bench and a black person the bench is a thing a black person is a human being

Why did Julie fall off a swing? 'Cause she had no hands. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Julie, that's certain.

What starts with an 's' and ends with a 'hit'? Shortly after the war, 4 men went to celebrate at the local bar. They all had a grand time there, when a man in black walked into the bar. The man in black knocks once on the bar. "What do you want?" asked the bartender. The man in black didn't respond. This time, the bartender asked again, only louder. The man in black then turned to his right to face the 4 other men celebrating. The man in black then suddenly pulled out a pistol, and shot the 4th man. He then burst into a sprint and ran out of the bar. "He's hit," the 3rd man shouted, "he's hit!"

What is funnier than a dead baby? almost everything. there is nothing funny about a dead baby.

Roses are red violets are blue, he is for me and not for you, he's too ugly you can have him

Knock knock whos there? I have no anus

Roeses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

What's worse than getting a paper cut? Getting shot in the face.

Knock, Knock!! Who's there?! The Police!! Open the f*cking door and get down on your knees.

What is the best way to run a race? Start out fast, run fast in the middle, and finish fast.

Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

A. What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew: B. Pizza's don't scream when you put them into a oven.

Where would you find 10 dead babies buried next to each other? In a cemetary.

i like my babies how i like my potatoes..... skinned

Why'd the black man smell awful... Because he hadn't showered in multiple days

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

how did the kenyan get away from the cup He didnt he got arrested

Why was the strict Asian father angry when his son got an A- on his test? He found out that his son had been cheating.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...