why did bob fall off the swing Because he got hit by a microwave

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Your Black, Im Black, We're all Black

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What happens when you die? Your body gets decomposed by bacteria

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's red and bad for you teeth. A brick

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and the holocaust? A pile of dead babies isn't funny

thumb_up thumb_down +20

The man was so gay he grew breasts and got breast cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Once upon a time, a duck named Jim went to work, he went up to the steps to his new job and and he was paid all day to sit in a hot tub. Little did he know it was a boiling pot and he was served at Christmas dinner

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why does horse head huffer keep posting here? because he really doesn't understand the concept.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being raped by your uncle

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's sweet and tastes like candy? Candy, now get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why do women rip you off? Because they like money

thumb_up thumb_down +18

OIO

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme The end

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are pink Daisys are white

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the black man say before he went to sleep? im going to sleep

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Banana Hamock.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you get when u cross a owl and a bungy cord...........my ass

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did Annie the Orphan get for Christmas? News that her parents are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was standing next to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops