Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

What did the black man do when he found a bucket full of KFC chicken on the ground? He promptly looked around for anyone who might have bought it. After searching around, with no takers, he ate some of the chicken and saved the rest. He brought it back to his apartment and left it in his fridge, so he may later eat it as leftovers.

What do you can a preschool on fire? A very dangerouse situation

how do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

why couldn't jonny ride on a swing? he had no arms or legs why didn't jonny have any arms or legs? he's a potato!

Why couldn't the Nativity have taken place in France? The winters are not warm enough to sleep in an animal cave without getting hypothermia, and there was no census taking place at the time.

What do a black man and a cop have in common? They are both not cabbages.

What's black and white and red all over? Nothing, because if it's black and white, it can't be red.

A horse walked into a bar. The bartender served him a beer and said "why the long face?", to which the horse replied "neigh". The bartender was later fired for incompetence and serving beer to a horse.

What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

If I could rearrange the letters of the alphabet.... dklaujeo bnvalue doiandkluq!!

roses are red, windows are clear, get off your ass and bring me a beer

Knock, Knock whos there? Jesus Jesus who? Jesus Christ

How did the Nazis torture someone? They inserted a glass tube in the penis and flicked the end so that it shattered.

How do you confuse a girl? Easily.

Why did the jewish plumber commit suicide? After years abuse from his alcoholic father and rich sibling, he finally snapped and killed himself on his birthday after nobody told him happy birthday.

Knock knock. Who's there? Conscience. Conscience who? Oh, sorry about that Hitler, you wouldn't know who I am.

Chuck Norris doesn't just have a chin underneath his beard. He also has part of his neck underneath his beard.

roses are red violets are indigo

Q: What did the passengers think of thier Chineese bus driver? A: They were very pleased with the bus driver's service, for he was a very safe driver and got them to their destination on time.

What does an otter and a pencil sharpener have in common? They both feature in this joke

What color is cotton? White Well in Afrca, they grow black cotton

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They took away her Gameboy.

What do you call a boy that was once a boy, but no longer is a boy? A Man

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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