How did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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How do you sneak Jews across the border? In an ashtray.

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Why was the black man sad? Because his wife and children had been killed in a freak car accident while he had been driving.

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yo momma is so stupid she went and got her self checked for mental retardedness and it turns out she happens to be autistic.

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Why did the Titanic sink, even though people said it was unsinkable? Grit and determination.

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

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What's the difference between a brick and a baby? One is a fundamental item used in building walls and the other is a human

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What did the dog say when the tiger bit him? Nothing. Dogs don't talk.

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What is the easiest method of making multiple women fall head over heels? Have a wingman help you raise a rope at the start of a women's running race.

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what's gray, rectangular, and provides a good time? your mother's sex tape.

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Knock Knock! It's me! Hello? Hello! Why didn't they answer him? He was at the desert, with a disconnected phone. Also, my Captcha for this is "lose face" Good job solf mediya

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Which is the smallest? A. Jupiter B. Whale C. Cow D. Bracelet Answer: D

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why was the clown sad? because his wife left him

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knock knock. who's there? your neighbor. o hi come one in!

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Whats cooler than cool? nothing because cool does not have a defined temperature therefore nothing can be cooler than it.

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What does Malcolm X think about when hes horny? Sex!

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What's funnier than 24? NOTHING!!!

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Q. What is worse than being raped A. Being raped twice

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Why are New Yorkers hated on so much? Becuase the Yankees suck ass.

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Q- Why did spongbob go to Detroit? A- He didn't, spongbob is not real. And even if he was, Detroit is not a very popular tourist attraction.

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Q-What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? A-Where's my tractor?

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Johns mother asked him were he had been. John simply replied the shop.

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Why was the homeless man homeless? He lost his house in a terrible house fire, stretching throughout his apartment building, losing his much beloved wife and kids in the horrific accident.

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(warning- this is sort of funny) A mom takes her son to cvs to pick up her pills. Son- Mom whats a pharmacists? Mom- well sweetie its a person who sells people drugs Monday Morning Teacher- Class, did you learn anything over the weekend? Son- Yah, i learned that my mommy has been taking me with her every week, to a person who sells drugs Later that week Teacher- Yes, hi, um your son has told me that you take him to buy drugs with you, i may have to call social services Mom- what? this is a misunderstanding, i go to a pharmacists to buy drugs. That evening Mom-what did you tell your teacher at school Son- you've been telling me that i go with you to buy drugs Mom- baby i need pills, well, because, im sick. Son- ohhhhhhhhhhhh ok At school Teacher- Billy ive called s.s on your mom, u will be living with foster parents Son- ohhhhhhhhhhhh ok Evening Police- ?Ms. Thackery, is this your student. Teacher- Yes Police- His mom has tradgicly died in a pool of tears after finding out YOU called s.s Mom- what? omg. DAMN Police- Im afraid u r under arrest for the cause of his mothers death Class- yayyyyyyy wooo hooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Billy Billy Billy Billy. hip hip hooray Teacher- Damn Son- mommy? Police- ur mommy's dead, sucks right sooooooo here's a box and ten bucks......... go live your life

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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