hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

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What do you call a monkey holding a hand grenade? It depends on what its name is.

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person: Ask me if i'm a tree other person: are you a tree? person: no

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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How did the lazy fat boy burn a lot of calories? He set his fat friend of fire.

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Knock Knock whose there your parents your parents who your parents just got malled by a hobo with an axe.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Parkinsons, ;oshgfs;jgbRHG

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What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

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was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

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When does the ice cream get thrown at the yellow horse on thursday evening? Purple Monkey Rainbow

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What's the difference between a black man and and a bag of crap? A lot, but mostly the bag

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I once had a friend We had our arguments, and went our separate ways.

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How to you get a clown off a swing? You shoot it in the face.

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Knock knock. *Silence Knock knock *silence Knock knock *Silence KNOCK KNOCK. *Silence (Busts open door) Oh right I murdered Billy a week ago

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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How many Muslims does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky? It had no wings.

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What do you call a blonde that just got hit by a school bus? Dead.

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A Muslim gets off his plane from Saudi Arabia to New York and walks to customs where a TSA agent asks him "what is you business in America?" The Muslim responds "I am here for a vacation". He walks on, and returns home 10 days later.

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What did the old man catch at a baseball game? Aids.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him he ain't gonna come.

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Who the heck do you think you are?! Ally...duh

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

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Why did Michael Jackson name his kid blanket? Because after years of drug abuse and sexual insecurity led to him thinking unrealistically during the birth of his children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops