Why did Susy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? NOT SUSY!

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A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

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Dakota Fanning

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A black man walks up to a white man with a shaved head and boots in a bar He then hands him a ten dollar bill and tells him he dropped it

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What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

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Cornelius went to the dcotor and got a sticker and a lollipop for being a good patient. He later went home and shoved the lollipop stick up his dick hole and started wildly masturbating. I forgot to mention Cornelius was 42 years old.

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How do you keep your dog from running away? Put it on a leash.

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knock knock ? Who's there ? idunnop idunnop who ? Eww you've done a what?!

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Whats the difference between the Taliban and a Football Team? I'm not on the football team.

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Hickory Dickory Dock. 2 mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one.. and the second one got away with major injuries, dying in a hospital three days later. The clock is now serving its 8th year in jail out of 25 years, and does not regret anything.

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Whats worse than spilling ketchup on your shirt? Getting hit by a bus

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4 gay men walk into a bar,but there is only one stool..... What do they do? Turn it over

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Q. what is the most amazing animal in the world? A. MULLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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When life gives you lemons you mix them with vinegar to make a drink that will help your high blood pressure.

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how do you tell a politician that you hate him? politicians can be female, too.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Everything.

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream? The Holocaust

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Why is the moon gray? Why is it not?

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What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I wouldn't consider Mark a chicken. In fact, given the high speed and volume of cars traversing that particular road in both directions, I'd say it was a ballsy move. In hindsight, though, he probably should have waited for the "walk" symbol to appear for pedestrians, in order to avoid being run over by a bus. Anyway, if Pastor John would like to say a few words before we finally put Mark's body to rest...

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There was once a man named Larry. Larry was an office worker for a paper company. One day when Larry was counting papers he got a papercut on his left hand. Therefore his finger began to bleed as he sat in agony. What did Larry do next? He got up and got a band-aid. Larry continued his paper work at his desk.

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When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

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Why is it bad to have 10 blond girls in a closet at the same time? The closet is a very compacted space and one of them is a claustrophobic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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