Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

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Why was Sally angry? Because somebody burned all her clothes

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Two black guys were walking down a street to meet up a local drug dealer. Turns out the black guys were undercover cops who arrested the drug dealer and both recieved awards for finding the criminal.

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Q: What kind of bees make milk? A: None. Bees make honey, not milk.

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A Polish man walks into a bar and says, "Co za asy..."

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What would you do for a Klondike Bar? I would probably spend somewhere under 3 dollars at a store, but only if somebody else drives me. I really don't want to drive, not in this gas shortage. You know what...forget it, Klondike Bars make my teeth hurt due to my sensitive teeth problem. I know I should get that sensitive teeth tooth paste, but I always forget when at the store.

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why did the Chicken Cross the Road? Why must you question a Chicken's motives to Cross the Road?

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What do you call a black priest? HOLY SHIT!!!!

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How many ecotards does it take to change a light globe? Ve Vill Change all ze light globes to use;less grey vuns and you vill luv it or else ve vill kill you to save ze planet

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What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Jason. Jason who? The person who is answering the door hears a chainsaw start up and suddenly realizes that Jason is the murderer from Friday the Thirteenth. The person goes and gets their shotgun, ready to blast Jason's head of when he breaks in.

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Why did the guy in the ferrari stop? -He hit the median at 100mph.

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What did the Black guy say to the Jew? Lets be equals

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Your Mum Is So Dumb, It Took Her 2 Hours To Watch 60 Minutes.

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Your momma so stupid that it's really inspiring she managed to overcome her limitations and raise such a wonderful family.

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Who are the faster readers? New Yorkers, they through 110 stories in 5 seconds

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Why was the muslim surprised? A tyrannosaurus rex bit off his legs.

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How do you minimize the likelihood of theft? Take the derivative.

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knock knock who's there? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!

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Dakota Fanning

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Why did Susy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? NOT SUSY!

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A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

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A black man walks up to a white man with a shaved head and boots in a bar He then hands him a ten dollar bill and tells him he dropped it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops