what does a deer and grass have in common? they are both green but i lied about the deer

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Why does the deer cross the road? It had just birthed two deer, one of which was hungry, and food was on the other side, the other had been hit by 4x4 Hemi V8 Supercharged F1-50.

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how many dead babies can you fit into a blender? 17 how do you get them out? Tortilla chips, but you'd be arrested by that time anyway because you just murdered 17 babies

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What's worse than finding out that your dog has worms? Finding out that you have worms.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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Why was the little boy crying? Because he had an undescended testicle

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When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

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Ebola

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What's worse than having you're leg fall asleep? Getting Polio

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What happened to the black guy who got pulled over by the cops? He was told that his left tail light was out

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A month after the nuclear bombing of Hiroshima, a typhoon hit the city killing another 2,000 people.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to escape the evil villains in giant mech suits.

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ohai. whutz en ahntei johk? sownz soopihd.

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- Why did the man with the big pocket get arrested in Utah? - Because adultery is illegal in Utah.

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Two kids walk into a bar and get arrested for underage drinking.

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Why did the witch stay up all night with a broken broomstick? Because she couldn't sweep.

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Why did the 60 y/o man take erectile dysfunction pills? His doctor prescribed them.

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BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... Your mom's a wh0re.

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ur left leg is cristmas nd ur right leg is thanks giving can i vist

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Why do giraffes have long necks? To connect their bodies to their heads.

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Two women were sitting quietly.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar and the bartender says, " OH MY GOD! YOU CAN WALK?!?!"

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What do a grape and an Elephant have in common? For sensitivity to people who suffer from color blindness, this joke has been cancelled.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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