What do you get when you mix Lil Wayne and Lil John? A full size John Wayne

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear? The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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what does matt daly like to do in his free time anal

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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So there's this moose right? And he walks into the store and asks where the potatoes are. And the cashier lady says aisle 5. So the moose walks to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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What do and Asian and an orange have in common? They are both complex, carbon based life forms living on the only world in the universe known to harbor life.

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What do you call a smart phone that doesn't want to work? The first conscious phone ever

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waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

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How do you eat an Elephant? Elephant meat is most palatable after roasting in a 450 degree oven for 2 hours. Garnish with carrots and broccoli.

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why did the panda go to the store? to buy milk.

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What's worse than getting raped? getting raped by a horse in car while listening to nickelback

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What's green and brown, and if it fell out of a tree on you it would kill you? A billiard table?

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What's the difference between a blonde and a carrot? One's a human, the other's a vegetable.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at poems, nice tits.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? " Hey Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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Whats the difference........ Between a duck?

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because I took a swing at it with a golf club.

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Why did Jane break up with DeShawn? Cause they grew apart

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whos district champs not JM

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King Triton: "As much as it pains me to lose you, Ariel, I want you to be happy with your prince..." Ariel: "So why don't you just turn Eric into a merman?" King Triton: "Good idea."

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Forgiveness is what weaklings beg for, while redemption is what the strong succeed at.

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I will grant you one wish, but it sure as hell isn't coming true!

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A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

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Matthew Baker

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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