Why did the little boy viciously slash the orange object with a carving knife? Because it was Halloween.

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So I was banging this French chick the other day and I couldn't understand what she was saying Turns out I raped her.

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A postal worker creeps past a sleeping bulldog. The dog does not wake up, and the mail is delivered successfully.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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My friend thought that an onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I threw a watermelon at his face.

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Q: Why does a zebra have stripes? A: Because Sarah Jessica Parker is a horse.

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1: I heard a great knock knock joke, but you have to start it. 2: Okay, knock knock! 1: Who's there? 2: ???

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Ron Paul for President!

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K

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A man gets three wishes from a talking banana. His first wish is for a gay lover, his second wish is to have a naked grizzly bear, and his third is to become a professional tennis player. Soon after he got Aids from the Grizzly bear.

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what is the tastiest veggie? veggies aren't tasty.

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What happened to the black guy that rammed his ankle against the bed frame? Yelled profusely until it stopped hurting.

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TOYS TOYS TOYS IN THE ATTIC

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a black guy walks into a black bar

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But I have a gun, So get in the van

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How many finger does a normal person have? 8...and 2 thumbs!!

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table has legs.

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What did the poor boy get for Christmas? Orphaned.

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Whats so bad about all the black people in the world dying? The police would be out of a job.

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Why couldn't the Joker browse the internet? He was using Compuserve.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To mutilate the body of a Jewish girl that lay on the other side.

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I saw a TV show last night. And it was good.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought is was yours.

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What can fly, but can not swim? Malaysia Airlines Flight 370

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops