How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get him a ladder and help him down.

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Naturally us at the order of exile, the ones that learn and teach the ways of Nero do not exist. Soon neither will those that speak against us. - Azure Dragon

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What do you call a man who's being followed by 18 black guys? Dave, he's going to work and is stuck in traffic

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what happens when Pinocchio says "My nose is growing"?

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Q: Why did the mom try to wake up a sleeping bag? A: Because it's morning and her kid is curled up inside fast asleep

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How do you save Africa. Put a rash of bacon in and envelope.

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roses are red violets are blue i'll be back in an hour or two

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I've lost my electron!! Are you sure? Yes! I'm Positive!

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why did Mark Nara cross the road idk why? he didnt

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Why did the plane crash? Because its pilot was a loaf of bread

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what do you call aca that got pushed in a pool ? A WET PUSSY

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What happens when a building has a 13th floor ? You realize this isn't a del building and fall down 13 flights.

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What is your bill about? Clinton

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm colorblind.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What's worse than walking into a lampost? Your seven year old child accidentally finding and watching a sex tape that you made years ago.

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Q: Why can't sally play on the swing? A: Because she has no arms Q: Who was the first to climb mount everest? A: Not Sally

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what's the best way to get your younger sibling to stop being annoying? Shoot Him

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the joke below will not be as funny as this one.... hahaha other joke i just ruined you

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have you ever heard of the mexican that went to college...no...oh me neither

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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You life story is the perfect cure for insomnia. [L]

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The man and the women were doing something. What are you looking? They just talked

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My wife is going to the Caribbean Jamaica? No, St Lucia

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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