What did the orphan get christmas? CANCER

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his village has been ravaged by small pox.

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penis likes vagina cuz its straight (get it?? it has an erection!!!!!!)

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Why did the Jewish population diminish in the '40s? Showers and Ovens

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Q: How many Jews can fit in a car? A: 5 in a standard mid sized sedan, or 7 in an SUV

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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Q: whats good about having sex with 18 year olds? A: there's 18 of them.

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The world blows up and everyone except for one man and his house make it out alive "Knock knock" "Whos there?" "Me" "Me who?" "Ummmm, its me, duh" It turns out the man was very bored and decided to go knock on his own door and tell knock knock jokes

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What's the one good thing about being a paraplegic? Nothing.

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this is stupid .... yep

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What Sound does a baby make in a blender? I don't know I'm to busy masturbating to it

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So, a Turtle, a Giraffe, and a Hippopotamus walk into Stop-N-Shop. They are quickly excorted out and the Zoo is contacted to take the wild animals. The Manager wonders why they were there in the first place.

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Why did the tomato turn red? The salad pulled out a gun.

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what is the difference between a blond and a red head? one is has blond hair and one has red hair

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If I met your mom before you was born, you would still be born.

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knock knock. who's there? your neighbor. o hi come one in!

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Your mom is so stupid she has to get homeschooled for college!

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What goes up and down but never physically moves? My grade.

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2 gay guys walk into the bar guy #1 say lets get drunk guy #2 says lets get wasted then #1 says... what do they do fall on the floor and do it.

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Why was the homeless man homeless? He lost his house in a terrible house fire, stretching throughout his apartment building, losing his much beloved wife and kids in the horrific accident.

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What's ugly and has shit smeared over its teeth? Smelly McD (He also wears bin bag clothes)

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The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

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A man is taking a shower in jail where he drops the soap. He proceeds to pick the soap up and cleans the rest of his body, puts his orange jumpsuit on and returns to his cell.

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A blind man walks into a bar No literally he does, he has a guide dog and everything, he's a capable member of society, don't be rude.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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