Why did the chicken cross the road? because it looked both ways and saw no cars coming.

Why did old Dorris shit herself? Because Margaret fell over.

What's worse than being single on Valentine's Day? Finding out your son has AIDS.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza has cheese on it.

Q. What did the toothbrush say to the toothpaste A. Nothing you idiot there inanimate objects they can't talk

What do you call something that lives in a pineapple under the sea? I don't know, but that seems like an improbable circumstance.

How do you change your dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.

What did one banana say to the other banana? Answer: It didnt say anything because bananas are inanimate objects, so it isn't humanly possible for a banana to speak.

-What animal has the best vision? -I hate when you try to talk dirty during sex

how do you save a black person that's drowning? you blow up their lips

I just met you, And this is crazy. So call me Kony, I stole you're baby.

What do you get a man that has evreything? Aids

Roses are der Violets are eulb I am dyslexic

What's red and bad for you teeth. A brick

Why do jews love money so much? Because money is very valuable and everyone loves it.

Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red OMFG MY LAWN IS ON FIRE !!!?

Sarah Jessica Parker

What do you call a straight A student that takes 6 Vicodin's, 5 Percocet's, and 7 Adderalls? I don't know, but he will most likely die of drug overdose.

What did the the White blood cell say to the bacteria? Nothing. Its a cell. It goes through phagocytosis.

knock knock. who's there. gestapo.

i have a black man in my family tree. i am 25% african american among several other ethnicities.

Knock Knock Who's there A girl scout want to buy some cookies to raise money for my cardiac surgery?

What's worse then the WNBA? Nickelback.

What did the dog say to the cat Nothing dogs cant talk

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...