A duck walks into a bar. the manager kicks him out considering animals are not allowed in the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How many finger does a normal person have? 8...and 2 thumbs!!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the chicken cross the road? To mutilate the body of a Jewish girl that lay on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Whats so bad about all the black people in the world dying? The police would be out of a job.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A woman walks into a bar but is promptly returned to her kitchen by an officer of the law. Later that same evening, she is beaten mercilessly by her husband for her outright disrespect for the social restrictions imposed upon her gender.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

a white guy, a black guy, and a latino guy all walk into a bar. The white man explains how his family is in turmoil because of his alcholism, the black guy shares his affection for crack, and the latino man explains why he shouldnt be here due to illegal immigration. They all hate their lives. Quack

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -27

The world blows up and everyone except for one man and his house make it out alive "Knock knock" "Whos there?" "Me" "Me who?" "Ummmm, its me, duh" It turns out the man was very bored and decided to go knock on his own door and tell knock knock jokes

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q: whats good about having sex with 18 year olds? A: there's 18 of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's the one good thing about being a paraplegic? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What is worse than the holocaust Nothing it was fine with the Jews in camps burning and dying

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's ugly and has shit smeared over its teeth? Smelly McD (He also wears bin bag clothes)

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q: What did the German say to the Jew? A: Guten Tag.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q: How many Jews can fit in a car? A: 5 in a standard mid sized sedan, or 7 in an SUV

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What can fly, but can not swim? Malaysia Airlines Flight 370

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Your mom is so stupid she has to get homeschooled for college!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what is the difference between a blond and a red head? one is has blond hair and one has red hair

thumb_up thumb_down -29

So, a Turtle, a Giraffe, and a Hippopotamus walk into Stop-N-Shop. They are quickly excorted out and the Zoo is contacted to take the wild animals. The Manager wonders why they were there in the first place.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

2 gay guys walk into the bar guy #1 say lets get drunk guy #2 says lets get wasted then #1 says... what do they do fall on the floor and do it.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

If I met your mom before you was born, you would still be born.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What goes up and down but never physically moves? My grade.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What Sound does a baby make in a blender? I don't know I'm to busy masturbating to it

thumb_up thumb_down -29

this is stupid .... yep

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops