What do you call a deer with no eyes? A deer. The fact that it has no eyes doesn't change the species.

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Why did the muslim cross the road? To blow up a train

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Everyone is different, but there are two of me, therefore I am unique. I have 72 different personalities, which all think, act and behave the same, all have my same name, but its still different to have such a thing eh? No I am not asking, I just added that weird little lightbulb symbol after "eh". People buy my book, its full of this nonsense... Its named "Are you left winged, or wrong winged" The book that has nothing to do with politics, and everything to do with politicians non existent sexlife! (seriously I had a book signing today... It was weird, people like stood in line twenty Signatures... AND PEOPLE ARE ALL GOING "HEY ARE YOU THAT GUY FROM HORSEHEAD?" Nero -WHO THE FUCK! IS THAT GUY ON HORSEHEAD?

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Whats wrong Nero? What happened? Please pick up the phone, I am trying to call you, but it just goes from dialing to changing tunes, please do not be upset with me, what did I do wrong? I thought we had an understanding, please just pick up the phone, if you already have my number and all you got nothing to lose...

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You help him down.

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An old white lady falls on the ground in the middle of the night. Just then, two positively huge black men in hoodies walk up to her and she is frightened. But as it turned out, they just wanted to help her get on her feet, and called a taxi for her. When she had no money, they gladly paid her fare. This is because they're good people and not muggers

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What did Tom get for his 5th Birthday ? Nothing, he died when he was 2 years old

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What's black and hangs from the trees in my backyard? Black berries!

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Your gay

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what did the ox say to his son when he left for collage? bison

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What is worse than breaking your pencil? Flying on a magic carpet

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what do JFK, plato, and a dead penguin have in common? theyre all dead.

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Mr. Wonder, optimism is seeing the glass as half full, pessimism as seeing the glass half empty, and realism as not seeing the glass at all.

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Q. What did Michael Jackson say to the banana? A. Nothing, he's dead.

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bob lost his camouflage bag. he never found it.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter, he won't come.

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Why do dogs chase squirrels? Beacuse dogs have very low attention spands and also chase cars and cats.

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What is a haiku? Are they hard to come up with? Obviously not.

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i woke up in the middle of the night and my entire bed was wet... know what i did? i layed a towel down and went back to sleep

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Your momma is so fat, she doesn't have a birthday. She has a birthweek.

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Why did the redneck leave his wife? To marry his daughter.

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ur left leg is cristmas nd ur right leg is thanks giving can i vist

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Whats the difference between a squirrel and a grape? They're both squirrels but ones a grap...

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Friends are like trees, if you deprive them from water they'll die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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