what do you call a kid in a wheelchair? . handicapped.

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Why was the black man killed? He committed a serious crime and was issued the death penalty.

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This is on of those few moments where my guts and attitude leave me feeling as if the entire world is against me... ...Then I cant help but to smirk and think... The world against me? Finally a worthy challenge... Such a great day... Nero because fuck morals: Friends and not so friends do not call me Black Metal because I listen to power rock, my mother high on drugs attacked my wife claiming she was Satan, I killed my angel dust empowered mother, felt as if the world was against me... ...Such a great day... "I killed my father too but you dont hear me whining about it!" And of course... ...Rest in pieces oh "dear" mother", at least you did one good thing, you gave birth to your undertaker, while I killed you to end my lifelong misery, My only regret is ending yours... Now I request you all think I am a monster and pretend we live in a world where all parents are nice and good... You already deluded yourself? Perhaps you should thumb me up instead then.

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How come Tommy isn't allowed to sing anymore? Because he has a punctured artery, collapsed lung, fractured ribcage, and a failed organ...

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*Knock knock* Who's there? No one answers so the man opens the door and gets stabbed 7 times in the chest

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Whats brown and sticky? ..Poo

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You are driving a canoe home when the wheels suddenly fall off. How many pancakes does it take to fill a doghouse?

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Who was at the door when Helen Keller answered? She doesn't know

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WHo owns a white van? JOSH!!

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What happened when the blonde girl threw a grenade? The enemy pulled the pin and threw it back

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Whats eight feet tall, purple, smooth, delicious, uses proper grammar, and likes dolphins. I don't know.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm locked in someone's basement, Please help me.

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What is the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family

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Most people like to drink beer, others do not.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your mother is dead.

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Why didn't Katie cross the road? Because she's dead.

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How do you make a kid with ADHD stay still? Shoot him in the knee cap

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Not a joke.

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Q: Why did the white man die? A: because he had cancer

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knock knock whos there? i dont know arent you supposed to get the door?

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What did Jesus say when he walked on water? I'm drowning

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King Triton: "As much as it pains me to lose you, Ariel, I want you to be happy with your prince..." Ariel: "So why don't you just turn Eric into a merman?" King Triton: "Good idea."

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Why did little Timmy scrape his knee? He was launched off of an aircraft carrier.

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why can't hellen keller eat a pizza? because she is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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