Two construction workers are working on the final floor of what will soon be the worlds tallest building. The first turns to the other and says: "Hey tom can you throw me a three quarters hex wrench? i think my set is metric." the second guy turns around and says: "yea, here you go."

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Roses are red Violets are blue This poem sucks Because violets are purple

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Why did the woman spray a black man in the eyes with pepper spray, then promptly run away? Because the woman was a notorious criminal and was currently robbing the man's house, but was caught in the act so she used pepper spray as her last line of defense while she fled from the scene before the man could call the police to detain her and put her in prison for her crimes.

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What did the doctor tell his patient? Unfortunately you have cancer.

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Your social life.

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Why is ms Wolfe mean? Because she is a poop face

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How do the american stop getting fat ? They don't.

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who ate all the food in zimbabwe? Nick bigg.. he later died of cancer and aids

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Why was the house painted pink? I dont know, why don't you ask the owner?

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Knock knock whos there? Underware Underware who? I underware my friends are

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Joke

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What's worse than finding half a suicide tablet in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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Why did the tornado cross the road? Because it's a tornado, that's what tornadoes do.

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How do you tell a clown his fly is open? Say sir your fly is open. Then beat him with a pipe until you cant tell what used to be his face.

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two men are in a bathroom (note they are not in the same stall) the guy on the left says how are you and the guy on the right says hold on im pooping.

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A man walks into a bar. Cool story, bro.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bipolar NO I'M NOT!!

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What do you call a fat man who can turn slim? I don't know

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Roses are red.. Your child is also red.. I drove my car over his face. <3

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"George? I wanna tend da wabbits, George" - Lennie Smalls

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you dint have to be a jew matt

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A terrorist robs a walrus.

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what do you call a man who go his head cut off in a car accident? dead.

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Why did the TV not turn off? You need to use a remote.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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