What is black and white and red all over? A road killed zebra.

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Q: Why did the clown fall off the swing? A: He got hit by an axe.

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How do you find out if your son is ok? Ask him.

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What do you get when you post the same thing a million times? Hate

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What did the elephant say to the clown? Swell, morning isn't it?

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Last christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, you're body rejected the transplant and you died.

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What do you call a Mexican policeman? Officer.

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You come home and find your family dead. What do you do? Take a picture, post it on facebook

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What do you get if you cross a motorway with a lawnmower? Killed.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage!

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what did John do to make the cold weather a little less irritating? well, being a homeless man, John did..... nothing.

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That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

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What do you do if your batteries die and you have none left? Go to your nearest battery selling retail store and buy some more.

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A fat guy, well over 300 lbs, goes to KFC and orders a big bucket of chicken. He gets his bucket of chicken and goes to sit down on a table to eat his chicken. A man walks up to him and asks him "are you going to share any of that chicken?" The man says "no."

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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Roses are blue Violets are green I have issues, What should I do?

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Malcolm Johnson from Zenith windows, I was wondering if I could speak to you for a while about some fantastic offers which we currently have on double glazed windows....

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Q: Why did the little boy have freckles? A: Heredity

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watch a i d s left

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My childhood friend said she had a bad breakup with her husband (yeah husband), and that she needed a really stiff one. Come on! How was I supposed to know she was talking about alcohol! She did blush and smile after I pulled my pants down however, that`s like seven out of ten right? I mean I was just trying to help a friend out right? And myself, fine myself, but it will be a total win/win situation, you know... Those where you win twice? "Dont worry, Im not comming" *pewpew*

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What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves? Reeves Christopher

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What do you call a fly without wings? A rather unfortunate physical disability

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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A teacher at a school in America is writing on a chalk board. He asks the class what 50 - 20 is. The teacher begins to become impatient when noone put their hands up. This is because the school is an educational facility for asylumn seekers from Rwanda and all of their hands were cut off by a Warlord.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops