Once, a woman told her son to be a peach and fetch some sugar. Little did she know that a genie heard her. The next day, she was horrified to find her son gone and a peach in his bed.

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Why was there a black man and a white man in a bar? Due to the probability of this occurance happening due to percentages of black/white people in a bar, this specific situation should be of no shock, in fact it is a completely normal occurance one of which should not be questioned

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I hate weddings! Old people always poke u and say "ur next" so I've decided to do the same to them... At Funerals

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was mauled by a bear!

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Anal.

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What's green and looks like a red truck? A green truck.

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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Jesus hates you this I know, because Buddha told me soo.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why did the little boy want to sleep with his parents in their bed on the only night in weeks they'd planned to have sex? His bedroom was on fire.

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Q:whats the difference between grass and a car? A:They all have wheels, except the grass

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We can never be truly sure of the chicken's real purpose, but given the circumstances of the surroundings, the story has it that the purpose of the chicken was to physically move to the other side of said road.

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Q: Why did the girl have dirty knees? A: Cause she was dragged through the forest and raped.

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My wife is going to the Caribbean Jamaica? No, St Lucia

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I like to thumb up my own jokes.

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You life story is the perfect cure for insomnia. [L]

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what did the little boy get for christmas? A BIKE!

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What do you get when you mix a dog and a fish? A hot fillet.

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Why isn't Juley at school today? Oh Her father chopped off her arms and legs, gagged her, ripped out both eyes and threw her in a lake tied to cinderblocks!

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What's yellow and shark infested? Shark infested banana pudding.

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Whats the same about a Mole and an Eagle? They both live underground, I lied about the Eagle.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Q. Why did the man get an email? A. Because he checked his inbox.

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what do blondes and rocks have in common? they are both material and have extension.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops