Q. What is the difference between an ass kisser and a brown noser? A. Depth Perception.

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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You're a country without the "tree". Did you just call me a cunt?

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guess what the clown said to the kid... im a clown

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What's the difference between Jordan and Time? Time passes!!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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Why didn't the dinosaur cross the road? Because they are extinct and roads did not exist when they were alive.

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What do you think 3 black men want when the come and knock on your car window? They just want directions.

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A woman walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Yes ma'am?". She orders a gin and tonic, but the bartender had gave her two without realising, and so she pays for one only. She starts to contemplate whether to tell the bartender about his error or to just leave it and have a free glass of gin and tonic. However as she is a christian, gluttony is a sin, and she already had enough to drink today. However, she feels the need to have a relaxing drink today, because as she was on her job as a receptionist, when a customer tripped on the last step of the stairs behind her and broke his neck, dying instantly, which deeply saddened her. This later led her to indulge on 3 glasses of red wine in the staff room. She finally concludes after a few moments pondering, to not tell the bartender about his error, and pampered herself with two relaxing glasses of gin and tonic. Her dead, mutilated body was later found in the rubble of a car after a head-on collision with a truck.

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What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender

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Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

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Why did the priest fall onto the alter boy? Because he lost his balance

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Why was six afraid of seven? Six wasn't. He listens in on women's self defense classes and can deliver a kick to the crotch so hard that it will create for you a new vagina.

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why do german shower have eleven holes? jews have 10 fingers

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Mary had a little lamb, its heart was black as coal, it crept into her room one night and ate her f***ing soul

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The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

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why did billy fall on the sidewalk? he got stabbed

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Your mama sucks so much dick, it's not funny.

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What's the difference between ?2 and and 74^3? ?-405242.585786

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Q. When's The Best Time To Wear A Striped Sweater? A. All The Time.

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What do you call a dead guy under the ocean? Murder.

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Two tomatoes where crossing the road, when one of them barely avoided being run over. The other said, come on tomato!

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven died three months ago and was clawing on his bedroom window.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems rhyme This doesn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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