What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into a worm and finding an apple in it.

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GONNA

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How many chickens does it take to cross the road? It only takes 1 chicken to cross the road. You don't need a lot.

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why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim.

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P1: knock knock P2: go away!!!

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What did the homless man get for Christmas? Nothing

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Yo' mama's so fat she has type 2 diabetes.

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What do you get when do you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence.

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Ed Milliband knows what's best for the UK.

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How do you steal candy from a baby? You ask nicely.

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Q: Why was the balloon scared of unicorns? A: Buses dont exist therefore the balloon was just insane.

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Why is Skrillex so bad a fishing? He has Parkinson's Disease

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Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

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Chuck Norris doesnt need air to live, Air needs chuck Norris to live. Actaully that statment is a fallacy because it would be fatal to not breathe

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ....Because based on modern mathematics the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.

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I own two ferrets. I was merely stating something factual.

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What did the audience watching inception say at the end ................ WAT THE FUK

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What did the Banana say to the human. Nothing, because bananas are not capable of talking

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One asks the other "Isn't it hot in here?" To which the other replies, "Holy ****, a talking muffin!"

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Q:How do u kill a butcher A: Kill its family

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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Why did the deaf man attend the music concert? He was invited by friends and wasn't doing anyhting else that evening.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What do you get when John pulls your toe off the waterfall and takes three from an caramel? -6 to the power of golf.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops