Why did the drunk walk into the bar? Because he has a serious drinking problem.

What happened when an FBI agent and a cop argued over control of a hostage situation? Several people including a respected community leader were killed.

What do you get when you cross a cheetah and a zebra? A dead zebra.

A white female funded a strong relationship with an african american male. One year later the white female was driving to work and had to slam on the breaks to stop a potention crash.

What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy wishes the same.

What do you call a mexican with a broom in his hand? a man who likes to keep his office at his own company clean

Q: How do you confuse more than 80% of the population? A: Mushrooms.

How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Because Goofy can walk on two legs, and is therefore superior to Pluto in Walt Disney's eyes.

Why can't helen keller drive? She never got her permit

What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's white and sticky? A stick painted white.

What can be said about a high school drop out who is 30, lives with his mom, and plays WoW all day? He is probably a very high level mage

In Soviet Russia life had both pros and cons.

What is the only day of the year when you're guaranteed to find me? The day I kill you.

Q: How do you get an elephant in a refrigerator in three easy steps? A: You open the refrigerator door, you put the elephant inside, you close the refrigerator door. Q": How do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator in four easy steps? A": You open the refrigerator door, you take the elephant out, you put the giraffe inside, you close the refrigerator door.

why did the chicken cross the road? who cares its a chicken.

What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

A Jew, a Muslim, and a black guy board a plane. Who gets kicked off first? The jew for his unruly behavior towards the flight attendant.

What is the difference between my dog and my girlfriend? I love my dog

Q: How do you count the population of Mexico? A: Take a census.

What did the hat say to the scarf? Nothing.

a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

Q-What was Hitlers favorite hobby to proceed in when he was sad? A- Manipulating populations and raping,torturing and mutilating the Jewish population.

How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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