What's blue and wiggles? A baby in a bag

Ask me if I'm a tree? Are you a tree? No.

So my girlfriend comes back from Jamaica this weekend. There are as many hairs per square inch on your body as a chimpanzee.

Q: whats worse than finding a worm in your apple A: the holocaust

why did the chinken cross the rode? why? to get to the gay persons house. Knock, Knock. Who's there. the chicken.

knock knock come in ok!!!!! ur an elephant oh ya i guess im not suppose to talk!

what do you call a top thats spining? A spinning top

A tree falls over on an old woman. Mysteriously, the woman lifts the tree up and walks away. A man is amazed by this, so he goes and asks the woman how she managed to lift the whole tree. She tells the man that he is an idiot an walks away. Later inspecting the tree, he realizes it is a small sapling weighing no less than 10 pounds

I went to the doctor and explained to him, "My penis fell off." The doctor gives me an odd look, and then chops his off to make me feel better.

hi hi stop! no yes no no stop no grr lol i will get you back not if i fool grrrrrrr BOOM BOOMBOTH:GRRR BOOM BOOM lol lol both:grrrr THE END BY STICK SMOKER

How did the black kid pass his exam? He studied.

Wanna hear a joke about a baby with AIDS? It never gets old.

Your momma is so fat that she decided to begin an exercise program and eat healthy and she lost weight.

Man in Balcony: You're telling it wrong!

why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was black

roses are red violets are blue I hear a bus...

What did the cannibal order at McDonalds? Big Mac, extra pickle, hold the mayo.

Three french men are in the car wearing sombreros. They're trying to get to Disney World.

Why is a bulldog so aggressive Because it was raised for dog fights in basements Dog fights aren't right kids, and you should never get involved but if you find yourself in the cage fighting one of the dogs, you should really think about how you got there.

1 woman and 2 guys were on a roadtrip. Every single day they would go do the same things. First go to Denny's, then to the mall, then see a horror movie. One day the woman said, "I don't want to go see the horror movie, I'm scared enough!" So the guys agreed that they'd trick the woman into going to a horror movie before Denny's. They went, and the woman was scared out of her mind. She yelled at them both for 30 minutes and to this day never speaks to them.

A duck walks into a bar. He sees Khloe Kardashian sitting on a barstool. The duck runs out of the bar screaming.

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

Why was the man sad? His intestines were imploding and his head was shot off seventeen seconds ago.

Call jets pizza at 8637090999 and say porr cisero is still stuck and shit will go down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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