What is Helen Keller's favorite color? Velcro

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Roses are red, violets are blue, they really should be purple.

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Legal Mexicans in Texas

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So three hikers decide to face the deadly challenge of climbing Mount Everest. They were unaware of the risks, and were all brutally killed in an avalanche.

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Roses are red, violets are red. Aaaaaahh! My garden's on fire!

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Guess what? AIDS!

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i was in bed with a girl recently and she said to me 'I want tonight to be magical', so afterwards i disappeared.

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Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

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Q: what do you call a guy with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? A: A very unfortunate individual.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't care I have AIDS

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Q: What said the first bagel to the other? A: Nothing! Bagels can't talk!

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10% of car thieves are left-handed. 80% of chimpanzees are left-handed. Therefore, if your car is stolen, there's an 8% chance a chimpanzee is responsible.

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A man goes to the hospital he says to the doctor while poking his leg it hurts here. Then he pokes his arm and here. Then his head and here. "Yes" the doctor says you've broken your finger.

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Q:Why was the frog sad A:He was stapeld to a boys face.

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A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

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What's brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't know I asked you

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Once upon a time, A lonely man was living in the woods. He died of exhaustion, dehydration, starvation, and bacterial infection. The end. Once upon a time, Another lonely man was living in the woods. He built a house, made a well, made a farm, got married, had kids, and had a wonderful life. The end.

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I'm black and I will beat your children At checkers, they can have red

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Why was Hellen Keller blind and deaf? Because she was a girl.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a piece of toast.

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That day where Captain America becomes too weak and frail to hold his own shield.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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