why couldnt the baby walk through the door? because it had a javeline through its head.

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The tooth fairy, Santa and, Justin Beiber are the same, little kids believe in them, whats wrong with America these days

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My name is Jeff

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What did the guy say to the girl when he was holding a tool? You're a tool????

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Why didn't the family finish their picnic? Because a dog was sick all over the food.

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How many alzheimers patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side

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I used to be able to walk, but then I took an arrow to the knee. It tore my acl and shattered my kneecap.

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"knock knock" "whos there" "poop" "poop who" "poop in the toilet"

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Dogs

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What do you get when Johnson cooks toast? Shit toast.

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a robber walks into a bank. he steals everything and kills the guards

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What's yellow and talks? A talking giraffe.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Simon says why the hell are we playing Simon say!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

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I have a phone, Don't know where it's at, Forever Alone FAPFAPFAP

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What's blue and wiggles? A baby in a bag

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Whats the most fun thing you can do with hangers and a vaccum cleaner? -abort babies

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Why did the lorry cross the road? It was swerving to avoid a small child. Unfortunately the driver's reactions were too slow and he hit the kid. After a week fighting for their life in hospital the child fibaly died. There wasn't a scratch on the lorry though.

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Saggy Nipples By chan chan

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-Knock, knock. -Who's there? -The pest control guy. -Please leave me alone I'm giving birth.

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Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

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How do you drown in a tea cup? You find a big enough tea cup.

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Why did the little hamster die? Because it had a careless owner who never paid any attention to it. therefor it passed away.

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i like going to public parks and watching the kids run and yell because they dont know im using blanks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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