What do dogs and whales have in common? They both live in the ocean. Apart from the dog.

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How much hard work does it take to become a man? To get to the other side!

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What did the man before he was executed? Nothing. He was already executed before he said something.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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Whats slower than molasses? A dead baby.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Well it depends how many of them can figure out the staircase.

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What is the difference between the sky and the ocean? They're both blue.

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why did the chicken cross the road who's there and the man died of cancer congradulations! your preganant

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why was the girl screaming? She was getting raped from behind by her dad.

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Q:how do confuse courtney A: give her a beer

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- On the cliff edge are standing three people: an Asian, Jewish and black man. Who's going to fall first? - Who's going to care about this?

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A Serbian Film

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How many tickles can you give an octopus? Ten tickles

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A man walks into a haunted house and screams. He had arrows on a nail.

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Today, my friend threw a lemon at me very hard and hit me in the testicles. FML

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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What do you call a black man in a truck A driver

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What's worse than having a zit on your face? Getting blue waffle.. google if you don't know what blue waffle is..

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What is hitlers favorite planet: jewpiter

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Why was Carlos fired? Because he stole and smelled of weed.

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In the North people say "once upon a time." What do people in the South say? "Y'all never gonna believe dis shit!"

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BIble verses: (secret bible code breaker edition) 90.01: Might thy level of power rise above the scouter of Vegebles 3.14: Thy shall make use of pee 6:9 Oral interaction is good for thee. 9:6: Peter said, lordeth this is no good, then the lordet said, try 6:9 and all was good. 6.66 Calleth upon this number on thy cell to speak with the beast. 9:11 This number shall aid you when in danger if thy have a cell, but not against the fallen by and Al Caida. 8:00 Call upon thy cellphone at no cost. 5.99 Thy use of plays of station three, areth too expensive... Whoops! Amen and RIIIIIIIIIIDGE RACER! 50:50 Thy shall share equally. 6:19: Thy shall use thy wrestling moves well. 20:00 Thy shall noth uset this windows version as it sucketh.' 88:88 Thy shall create four equal snowmen for me. 12.34 Read this and thy shall learn to count til four. 7:77 The number of the luck. X:B0X: It sucketh hard. 3:60 it sucketh far more than the original 9:99 Is the number to defeateth the beast while he is resting upside down 0:13 "and samuel said, but oh lord, I am a teen now!" And the lord agreed and all was good. Ok, I got to decode my bible further, yes indeed!

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The moment where Perfect Cell returns declaring he has become "even more perfect" There is no level above perfect :P But sure Cell, strive to improve further on your "perfection", oh he is dead nevermind. Still my favorite character, narcissist, with a touch of class, and a sadistic personality, what more can you wish for?

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a 7 year old child is watching a show that involves a c0ck, an ass, a bitch, and a bastard......... However this show is completely appropriate for a 7 year old, what could possibly be inappropriate about a chicken, donkey, dog and an orphan?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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