Well that sucks, your dad is dead.

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Q: Where do zombies shop? A: Zombercrombie.

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Why can't Jade Goody go swimming? Because she's dead.

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Q.what semtemce is a most used lie by a fourteen year old? A. Yes i agree to the terms of service, and am above the age eighteen.

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What is red and green and goes round and round? A frog in a blender!

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because it lacked the requisite musculature to facilitate locomotion

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What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An extremely talented reptile.

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what did one mute say to the other? Nothing.

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why did the chicken cross the road because on the other side his wife that he had loved for years was being tortured and he was trying to save her life.

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Two women were sitting quietly.

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How is a monkey like a bicycle? They can both climb trees. Except for the bicycle.

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Why didnt jimmy go to school? He had a hangover

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What did one dinosaure say to the other? Nothin, they are all dead. XD

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Studies show that 95% of house fires are caused by fire.

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what is the difference between a boy scout and a jew? boy scouts come back from camp.

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Yo mama has had so many kidney stones she has to be on a water diet.

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What is the difference between a bitch and your ex-girlfriend? First of all, they are two different types of mammals. Second, dogs don't talk.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'll choke you with a hose

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's worse than finding a spider hidden in your sheets? The spiders being followers of the devil then sucking out your soul and giving it to the devil while your body gets stretched and you die a very painful death.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple getting blow jobed by a giant squirrel

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2 sausages were in a frying pan. 1 sausage says it sure is hot in here, the other sausage says WTF a talking sausage!

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Why was the man scared? Because he was being attacked by a giant tiger.

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what do you call a mexican baptism? a bean dip

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops