Knock knock Shut up

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What has 2 legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog

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Why do mexicans like burritos? Because they taste good.

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Fine, this better be worth it, this is no time to be a jackass Nero.

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A blonde, a brunette and a red head are having a discussion on current issues. The brunette says she would like to see improvements in the environment. The red head says she would like to see the economy prosper. The blonde says she has to take a poop.

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Your mother is so fat that it became a problem affecting everyone close in her life. Her new year's resolution was to lose weight, and surprisingly, has become quite healthy since then.

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What do you call a black man in a hole? "sir". He is A colnel in the US marines fighting for his country in a pivotal battle to maintain american interests in other countries.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He is seriously pissed off about being repeatedly subjected to this level of intense interrogation. Do you ask other animals why they chase their tails or claw at dirt? Do people ask you why you run when you're late? How would you like to have every move you made transformed into some cliche, old farce? There's a road, he's a chicken, there are only so many possible outcomes.

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What happens when you cross a porcupine, a beaver, a duck, a go-cart, a dinosaur, a star, a cheap "Big 'n Beey" bathroom, and the cookie monster? Justin Bieber. XD

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A man was arguing with his wife over the phone at a trainstation. She threatened to leave him he did not stop his physical abuse. The man became so mad he hung up the phone. He then noticed a blind man was grinning at the overheard discussion. The husband walked over and pushed the blind man on the tracks. He died

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One I grabbed a lump of coal, and crushed it with such strength, that a human being was born out of it. That man is today known as Chuck Norris. Nero.

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Q: Why was the math book sad? A: Because he recently found out that his parents died in a tragic car accident.

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What is better then winning the special olympics? Not being retarded

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What's worse than stepping in tar? Getting your face ripped off by a man sized Tarantula

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Why did the guy die? He had a fatal heart attack.

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Why were accents created? So when people go to Texas they come back sounding like a D-Bag.

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What do you say to somebody that wont shut up Shut up!!!!

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how do you crash a party? You dont because that would be rude.

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Y did the chicken cross the rode to/ get away from KFC

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

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What's worse than failing your midterms? Child abuse.

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What is 6 1/2 inches when erected? My penis.

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Why did the blond paint in the nude? because she couldn't find her clothes, and wanted to express her emotions through art

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Why did the man fall over? He was blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops