Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Why did jimmy cross the road? Because that was the direction the cannon was pointing.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave Smith. Oh, hey Dave. Come in.

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Q: How many dead babies does it take to fill a mixing bowl? A: There is an infinite amount of answers to this question depending on the sizes and shapes or the dead babies, so lets assume that an average would probably be about 4 babies that dies just as the left the mother.

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Why did the Old man die? He died of old age.

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What do you call a man with a knife in his back? An ambulance

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a blond a her blond boyfriend were walking acrossed a river. she gose over the river but the ramp brecks when she's past. her boyfriend says wait until night and I'll get a flashlight and shine it acrossed get on the light beem and walk acrossed.she says no when I'm haf way acrossed you will turn the light off.

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Whats worse than bieber fever? A yeast infection.

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Getting all F's on your report card isnt that bad.... I mean you could go home to find your whole family murdered and your Girlfriend hanging from a noose.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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-Why didn't a girl cry after she fell down with her bike? -Because a handlebar pinned her lung.

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"You go, Glen Coco" -Mean Girls, 2004

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You're so black that other black people make fun of how black you are.

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Roses are gold Violets are blue I am color blind

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why did the boy die because he got ran over by a tractor

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Whats the difference between a lamp and Morgan Freeman? Alot

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Women's Professional _________

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What's better than your mom dying? Chocolate Cake.

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roses are red pickles are green i like your legs and whats in between

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What's better than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill/death ratio

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What's the difference between Colonel Sanders and a barrel of olives? Colonel Sanders isn't in a barrel.

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If you are stranded on a deserted island would you eat your hand or the 5 star meal you butter prepared? -Matt

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BF:Roses r red Violets r blue a face like ur's shuld b i n the zoo but dont worry i'll be there but not in the cage but laughing at u. GF:Wanna c a magic trick? POOF ur single

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whats worse than getting killed by a random tomahawk in COD mostly anything because COD is only a video game

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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