When I was little I used to love to dig up worms. Out of my ass.

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whats awesome? a blade of grass with a mexican hat and a revolver.

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he's all right now

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Yeah, Eliza, its me, its so strange, you are the only one I remember from highschool, I was worried you had forgotten about me, anyway, yeah type as if you where speaking to him, and dont worry, I know I could not keep a secret back then, and I told Nero, so and he promised me he would kindly break my fingers if I told anyone, besides I dont do that anymore trust me.

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Why was the man in the kitchen? Because his wife was raped and killed.

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A jellyfish walks into a bar, the bar doesnt appreciate him, so he retreats back to his jellyfish lands.

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tradegy.

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Q: Why can't a tomato fly a plane? A: Cuz it's a tomato

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how are a ferrari and a pile of dead babies similar? neither are good to have in your garage when the police come.

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Why did the catfish cross the road? Catfish can't walk.

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What does it mean when people say your mom? it means that there name is Hunter

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Why was 10 afraid of 9? Because 9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1...Kaboom!

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AWWWWWW YEEESSSS!!!

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Whats worse than one jew. Ben rike

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Ask me if im a tree. Are you a tree? No

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what did the lesbian say to the man? I don't like penis

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Q: Why did the little boy drop his toy? A: He fell and broke his wrist, then dropped it in the emergency room, due to the broken wrist.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? red paint

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Knock Knock, Who's Theres? Your dead squashed nan

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Why is a bulldog so aggressive Because it was raised for dog fights in basements Dog fights aren't right kids, and you should never get involved but if you find yourself in the cage fighting one of the dogs, you should really think about how you got there.

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michael: How old do I look? stranger: about 68? How old are you? michael: I cant remember I have alzheimers. michael: How old do I look?

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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