Steven Hawking walks into a bar. That is highly improbable, due to the fact he is in a wheelchair.

A man is walking on the beach and notices a shiny brass lamp on the ground. He picks it up, polishes it and then sells it for a reasonable amount of money at a local pawnbroker.

Why are kenyans so fast? Because due to evolutionary changes, people from that area of the world have evolved to have superior muscle builds to sprint, hence giving them a natural advantage against an equally trained athlete form another part of the world with an equal skill level

I took a vampire out for dinner last night. I expected her to cringe when I ordered a rare steak, but we decided not to let my tastes impact on the evening, sharing wine and many stories before heading back to my apartment.

Q. How do you make time fly? A. It is highly impossible to make time fly for there is 24 hours in a day, 60 minutes in an hour, and 60 seconds in a minute so therefore the time flows how it should and we do not have such power to do it even though many people claim they do when they know they really don't

Tin is a chemical element with symbol Sn (for Latin: stannum) and atomic number 50. It is a main group metal in group 14 of the periodic table. Tin shows chemical similarity to both neighboring group-14 elements, germanium and lead, and has two possible oxidation states, +2 and the slightly more stable +4. Tin is the 49th most abundant element and has, with 10 stable isotopes, the largest number of stable isotopes in the periodic table. It is a silvery, malleable other metal that is not easily oxidized in air, obtained chiefly from the mineral cassiterite where it occurs as tin dioxide, SnO2.

What's worse than getting stabbed? Getting stabbed twice. What's worse than getting stabbed twice? Getting stabbed three times. What's worse than gettin..... Why does it matter?!?!?! U should be dead by then!

Roses are Red, Violets are not blue they are violet, nothing rhymes with this, I give up

When A White Man Sees A Magic Trick - He Claps When A Black Man Sees A Magic Trick - He Does Handstands, Celebrations, And Shouts

What do you call a man with no arm or legs lying in front of a door? Idk, but how did he get there, and where is his aid to help him get out of this situation?

2 Black men walk into the bar.. Guess what? There still black.

Technically I did not try to, but I made you believe I tried in vain, so your subconcious is unable to register that it is under a state of trance, you could deny it, but you are in a state of trance right now. So how big are your breasts?

So a man walks into a bar... ouch

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

People spending hours typing nothing but cus words? Who does that?

knock knock who's there? dave dave who? dave suddenly burst into tears as his grandmothers altzimers became so serious she forgot his name

Why did the bird fall. Its tree got cut down.

What do you call a lot of Chinese people in a confined place? A Chinese urban center.

Why did the cat cross the road? To see its mom who was lying dead on the other side

roses are grey violets are grey so says my color blind cousin

Fine Nero, but I will be keeping an eye on you.

A man and his friend go hunting,one falls in a hole and appears dead. The friend calls 911 and asks what to do, the operator says ok first we need to make sure he's dead. The friend checks his pulse and finds out he is living, then an ambulance is sent and the hunter lives with minor injuries.

I got a joke for ya. George W. Bush was our president. He is a joke, but no one is laughing.

Whats brown and ryhmes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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