when trouble come down in your neighborhood who you gonna call? the local law enforcement or another form of personal protection

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Yo mamas so fat she weighs more than other people

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Whats the worst part of your school burning down? A: The burnt pizza.

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Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? Well, he's dead.

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Did you hear about the man who swam to the bottom of the ocean? He drowned

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Relax, I said some pretty vile things to you when I thought you where a guy seducing me while it became ever more apparent that you where pretending to be me, thing is I often use this site to vent my frustrations and earning the "praise" in the form of red thumbs by the people. I wont say your name, but I know who you are now, the girl with the big red scared eyes, I mean how many one handed 27 year old`s do I know? I am in my early thirties, that`s all I am willing to share for now, If people come around trying to poke out my remaining eye, I am ready (my waifu, is at her mother`s place, she knows I am still a wanted target by, well some people here and there.

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How do you make a telemarketer scream? Set him on fire.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Bailiffs.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What else is new?

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What do you call a deaf-black man that professionally generates maps of the world? A cartographer.

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Excuses are like assholes: Gay men like to have sex with them.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer Roses are red

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Whats worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bees stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings. Now, if you have been well-educated you should be able to tell the problem with this joke. Unless you know someone whos jewish and lived during the holocaust, you couldn't be sure if three bee stings was actually worse than the holocaust. If ou do however, thats good for you, keep it to yourself.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Anonymous. Anonymous who? Exactly.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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— Knock knock. — Who's there? — Funny. — Funny who? — A funny joke.

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Nickelback.

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Why was the dog crying? Do dogs even cry?

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I'm Ryan Dunn, and this is a 120 mph car crash

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How many times has Susie fallen off the swing? Not enough.

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your momma is so fat she has diabetes

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What's brown and sticky? A Mexicans underwear.

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if girls witth big boobs work at hooters where does the girl with one leg work.... walmart

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What does a Jew and an oven have in common? Bagels.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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