Robert Muldoon: "Clever girl..." Velociraptor: "I appreciate your compliment, but I will still eat your face."

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How many lesbians did Tiger Woods bang? None, his standards are much higher than that

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I have five fingers, When will you put the ring on the one NEXT to the middle one? Never?! F you.

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A man decided to commit suicide. He did.

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What did Lois say to Peter? Who cares... Family Guy is a stupid show.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew. One's a tasty delicious snack and the other one's a pizza.

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A redundant man walked into a bar. He sat down, and unfortunately, we learn 5 minutes later that his wife died.

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What do you say to a black man driving a car? Taxi

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A Muslim walks into a bar He immediatley turns around and leaves as his religious beliefs forbid consumption of alcoholic beverages.

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Whats the Difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies? A Pile of dead babies is basically useless

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Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens, this is probably similar to other countries in similar situations such as middle eastern, eastern european, and latin and south america. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

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Two cannibals are eating a clown one turns to the other and asks "does this taste funny to you?" The other cannibal says " yeah because the clown has been dead for weeks."

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What do you call a 3 legged dog on a red unicycle? An unlikely set of circumstances.

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knock knock. "who's there?" dick. "dick who?" dick ferns.

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Q. Why did the child's mother tell him to clean his room? A. Because his room was messy.

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roses are reddish voilets are blueish if it weren't for christmas we'd all be jewish

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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My mother-in-law fell down a stairway. I turned to my wife and said “Call an ambulance!!”

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So this guy walks into a bar, & says "I'll have a beer"........ Yup

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A blonde heard that 90% of all crimes occur within a one-mile radius of the home, so she had a security alarm installed.

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Why did Piglet look in the toilet? He was probably fascinated by the flush.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Hook. Hook who? Who are you Hooking Your Horns to?

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roses are red voliets are blue u actule thought i would cry over you!

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Why didn't Sebastian get out of the forest? Because he got brutally murdered by a big bad wolf

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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