how did the girl die? she read all of your terrible anti-jokes.

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KONY 2012

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When I grow up, I don't want to be a therapist. I have enough trouble figuring out the problems in my math book.

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Why did I get thumbs down from everyone? Answer: Because they hate my anti-joke.

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Whats bigger than 'burger king'? A. burger

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

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why did the US nuke japan besause sending chuck norris would be to cruel

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Sam Hengal.

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What's small, pale blue and sits at the bottom of the pool? "An over ripe blueberry."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For fitness! ...yeah... nobody laughed when Jonah Hill said it either... awkward

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What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out of the chambers...

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what did the policeman say to an armed robber? you can go, as long as you don't hurt my doughnuts

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Why was the homeless man lying on the floor? Because he was dead

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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What did the dog say to the cat before they fought? Lets fight

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Boy 1: Hey do you want my last chewing gum? Boy 2: Yeah please! Boy 1: Same. The boy continues to eat the chewing gum and finishes his shit wandering why the boy walked into the same cubicle as him.

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Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if he tore his ACL last week trying out for wood chucking nationals? A: Woodchucks don't possess the ability to chuck wood, nor do they have ACLs.

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Taxes are like prostitutes. The higher your salary, the more you pay.

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How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? 17.

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How do you confuse a conspiracy theorist? Tell them the government is not real.

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What do you do when you walk downstairs and see your TV floating? Call Ghostbusters.

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yo momma is so fat that she got diabetes and lost her legs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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