How many times has Susie fallen off the swing? Not enough.

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Why did the black man fall asleep in the unemployment line? Well, he was dangerously fatigued from having weeped passionately the entire night in the arms of his wife after losing his high-earning job of 20 years and consequently finding out that his only daughter was in a tragic school bus accident.

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Your mom is so stupid she has trouble holding a steady job and struggles to support her family.

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A woman wearing a very fancy, striped sweater walks into a bar and sits down. The bar tender asks her “what’ll it be”?. The girl replies “Just a beer for me”. As this happens a child in Africa dies from complications due to starvation.

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How did the Black man die at the KFC? Someone killed him.

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What did the Frenchman say to the Englishman? I don't know, I don't speak French.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police, your entire family died in a car accident. ... ... The police, your entire family died in a car accident who?

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Why doesn't little jimmy ride his favourite bike to school any more? He was playing on the platform at at the railway station, tripped and fell across the track, at which point a seven carriage train came through at over 150 mph and cut through his upper thighs crushing everything in his legs and causing them to fall off.

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what does a deer and grass have in common? they are both green but i lied about the deer

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a sloth? Everything. The blonde is a human being and humans are way different than sloths.

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Ey hornboy give es a SCAB

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What do you call a mexican who steals toasters? A mexican toaster thief.

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There once was a man from Kentuckit, who like to dissapear with his dog and clean up the shit using a plastic bag and put it in the allocated public bin.

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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wommmoaooammaaa

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

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You and your parents are going to die today

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why did the chicken cross the road? because there were no cars coming and it seemed like a safe time to cross

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There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

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Your mother's so fat.....When she gets on the scale, it tells her how much she weighs

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothin. You already told her twice.

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Roses are red Violets are actually the color violet, contrary to popular belief.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops