Why did Alfa Kurtoo change his name? Just say Alfa Kurtoo fast!

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What did the orphan get for his birthday? Shit on.

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Yo mama's so fat, I gave her a compliment because we should embrace body acceptance.

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What did Edward Cullen say to the hot girl? Since I am a vampire it is impossible for me to get an erection.

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Why did Johnny disappear? He was sucked into a vacuum toilet on an air jet.

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A man walks into a bar. It resulted in a concussion and 17 stitches.

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how do you get a clown off a swing i dont know but dont call suzy

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god."

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When life gives you lemonade, give life lemons and it'll be like WTF?!

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? cancer

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One day a man discovered he could suck his own penis. Unfortunately he was heterosexual and could derive no pleasure from doing so as he was acutely aware of the fact he had a penis in his mouth.

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Whats worse then 10 black men hanging from trees? Kittens

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What trees do fortune tellers look at? Whichever variety of species are indigenous to where they live.

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Goodbye to the people who hated on me.

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Q) What do you call a black president? A) Mr. President

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Fun Fact: If humans stood in a single file line around the equator, most of them would drown.

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Doctor, doctor, I think I've got a problem! Correct, you have got acute cancer, you have 2 months to live.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your pork? Finding half of a worm, because the worm you just ate is going to live in your stomach, breed, then come out your butt. Or the Apocalypse.

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What do you get when you mix a baby and a fork? An abortion.

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Why did little tomas cry? Because he got raped by his uncle

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whats black and has 3 legs? a spider with 5 missing legs.duh.

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Why did the black man have blood on his hands? He was a surgeon

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Sickman Fraud, cocaine snorting alshole... "Oh yeah mommy I love raping you so much... What where are you? This cocaine is really bad quality man! The effect was so short..." Your friendly r*pist neighborhood Moral Man: "Because since when do you really need cocaine... ...In order to rape your mother?"

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daisies are yellow Trust me, I'm a florist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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