How do you get 100 Jews into a car? You can't. It's physically impossible.

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A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Hey, 2 beers please" The bartender asks why he is ordering two, as he is alone. The man replies "There is a taxi waiting for me outside."

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Yeah I was beginning to enjoy that as well, but I used "timed hypnosis" I have not seen it been coined elsewhere yet, not that I learn hypnosis anymore, I kinda teach it covertly to whoever I believe can use it responsively. "Timed hypnosis" is not really based upon a set amount of time after all time is relative, and our subconcious does know that and the subconcius understands that we did not invent time just because we made some fucking dials spin around" Now, timed hypnosis is based on a purpose, for example: "I will go into a trance until I am done teaching my new buddy how covert hypnosis works and teach her to use it subconciously" But now I made you aware of that, so you can use it consciously as well, the real magic here is that the subconcious is so much more efficient and powerful than the conscious mind that it would not even be neccesary to have a concious mind, except for one thing.

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Q: What happened when lost John lost his crack cocaine? A: He bought some weed.

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What do astronauts do if the want a party? They planet

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"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't give you time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

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Why did the father smash his sons head into the dentist's building? Because he had a locker in his mouth. Also, equestrian.

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One night, a heartbroken magician named Jeff went to a bar. Jeff met a nice girl, and they talked and laughed together for hours. After a while, Jeff asked her, "do you want to see a magic trick?" She ate his wiener.

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Women. One of the genders a human can be.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got run over by a semi and died.

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Whats worse then 15 missed calls from your mom?, The Holocaust

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I was so fat I went on a diet

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Two Cows are knitting soda water in a lightbulb. One of them said: Talking about milk, what time is it? The other pulls out a thermometer, looked at it and said: Wednesday.

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What do a rubix cube and a penis have in common? The more you play with it the harder it gets.

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John: Knock Knock! Bill: Who's there John: John Bill: Oh hey John, come in

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What has stripes, isn't a virgin, and has golden hands? I don't know I asked you first.

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Q:So there's a black guy and a mexican sitting in a car...who's driving? A: The Cop

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I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

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I read the terms of service.

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What was Hellen Keller's favorite color? A:blue

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why did kyle and jake have sex? Because they were gay.

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How many napkins does it take to tack to the moon? Purple, snakes don't have elbows

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what is long black and smelly the welfare line

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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? an email from PETA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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