"Look me in the eye" said Cyclops.

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Yesterday I was diagnosed with Depression... It made me sad.

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Why did the fish cross the road? Because the chicken was carrying an aquarium.

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Guess what? AIDS!

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What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

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Legal Mexicans in Texas

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Why couldnt the black guy swim? He couldn't swim because he had no parental figures growing up. His dad was part of a gang and his mom was a crack addict. He had noone to teach him how to swim.

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Where did the guy who shot his neighbor go? Jail, because he was caught, sent to court, and was convicted of murder.

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So three hikers decide to face the deadly challenge of climbing Mount Everest. They were unaware of the risks, and were all brutally killed in an avalanche.

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Q: what do you call a guy with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? A: A very unfortunate individual.

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Two muffins were in an oven. One of them said, "It's sure hot in here!" The other muffin didn't respond because it's dead.

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Why did Phil Krahn cross the road? Because he is gay

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89 bottles of beer on the wall, 89 bottles of beer, if one alcoholic passes the wall, 0 bottles of beer on the wall!

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Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

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A man goes to the hospital he says to the doctor while poking his leg it hurts here. Then he pokes his arm and here. Then his head and here. "Yes" the doctor says you've broken your finger.

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A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

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Why do black people like kool aid? Why It is a very hydrating and delicious drink

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why did the monkey fall dead out of the tree? because edward cullen raped it up the arse sooo many times it died from internal bleeding.

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Why didnt the teenager have a smartphone? He didnt live close to a cell phone store

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A man walks into the bar and orders a drink. This is what you do in a bar.

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you are getting chased by a lion, a tiger, and a zebra. What do you do???? Get off the Merry-go-round.

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the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

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Person 1: Ask me if I'm a truck? Person 2: Are you a truck? Person 1: No.

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Q: How do you break into your own house? A:You don't....thats ridiculous(:

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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