What do you do if there's a rabid elephant chasing behind you, a vicious jaguar to your right, a rearing horse to your left, and a bloodthirsty lion in front of you? Innoculate yourself with a rabies vaccine, prod the jaguar on the nose with a stick (they hate that and will probably flee as a result), speak softly and calmly to the horse and encourage the lion to go for the elephant instead of you. You will probably still die as a combined result of mauling and trampling, and it's unlikely that you'll have two rabies vaccines to hand by chance for such situations, but your chances of survival will be minimally improved.

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Adam Fantuzzi's just jealous because he'll never be the man his mother is

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Why did the most interesting man in the world refuse to eat his buttered toast? It just so happens that the cook accidentally used stale bread, causing it to taste unsatisfactory.

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what do you call obama a dumbass

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their was a black man in my family tree hes still hanging on

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What happened to the man who killed his family? Rape.

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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What's the difference between Rob Schnieder and Jelly Beans? Someone besides Adam Sandler likes Jelly Beans.

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What happens when lady gaga and chris brown jump into the pool at the same exact time. They get wet

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Why did the chicken run across the road? It was 9/11

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Who didn't allow the gorilla into the ballet studio? Whoever was in charge.

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Q: What did the boy say to his mum when he saw a Lion A: Hey mum that's a Lion

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What do you call a Man who likes little childeren A Nittany Lion.

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yo mammas so fat when she runs the world spins faster

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Why did the boy drop the ice cream? Because he had a seizure.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because he raped her

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Recycled jokes are about as good as a scalar roundabout... [L]

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A guy wearing a top hat walks into a bar. He says, "Ow."

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c-? men, C-men

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What's the difference between Wayne Gretzky and Courtney Love? They have different proffesions

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How do you confuse a bus driver? Go invisible and throw bananas at him

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A duck walks in wal-mart and buys stuff. The cashier ask how hes going to pay and the duck said just put it on my bill.

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So does Blake

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Why did Darren Wilson quick scope Michael Brown? Because he was being attacked, racism is wrong

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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