Why did the bird lose all of it's feathers? It got cancer.

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Why should you never eat a jellyfish on a Wednesday? Because it will sting you with its poison.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Obamacare

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What's 1+1? 69.

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What's worse than someone who thinks Sting is a nice guy? Sting.

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What is the difference between a bitch and your ex-girlfriend? First of all, they are two different types of mammals. Second, dogs don't talk.

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Knock knock. Man: Who's there? Hooker: The hooker you called for. Man: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. Wife: Honey, who is it? Man: The hooker I called for, but you haven't left yet. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes

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What's the difference between an ice cream cone and a pile of dead babies? I don't cum on the ice cream before I eat it.

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What's the difference between a fat boy and a thin boy? Fizzy drinks!

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bike? they both get hit by cars in shady neighborhoods, like Copiague, New York

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why did the 60 year old touch the little boy's penis? because he was a doctor.

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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what do you call a dead man rolling down a hill on fire, being shot in the head, and strapped to a bomb Dead

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a room? A: Depends on how hard you can throw.

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what do you call a black man on the moon? an astronaut.

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what is the best way to start a car? put in the key and turn it.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a cucumber? You can't gas a cucumber.

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Why did the cat eat himself? He was hungry

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What you you call peanut butter on the top of a dog house Peanut butter

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roses are red FACT violets are blue FACT this ryhm is boring how about you FACT

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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Immaculate Misconception - Motionless In White \m/

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops