How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

Q: Why did the guy fall off his bike? A: He got shot!

Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops.

What's worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. What's worse than a pile of dead babies? One baby is alive in the middle. What's worse than that? He is eating his way out...

A man who was not blind, but could not see, walks around a metal bar, and proceeds to the bar, where he walks into the door without opening it first

what is white and sticky a stick from a birch tree

What's white and is your slave? Your computer.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered 6 offender. And there was nothing funny about that.

What's black and gets in trouble a lot? A dog with black fur that has not been well trained.

Why so serious? Your brother died.

A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

Q: What's better than the Call Me Maybe video? A: A shot-for-shot parody of it featuring a GIMP! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFxnAITCv5o

hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have alzheimers, hey i just met you

There is big difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse And helping your uncle jack off a horse

What did one tampon say to another? Nothing they were both stuck up.

2 men walk into a bar. You would have expected the second one to notice it after the first guy walked into it.

Why did Jonathan choose to watch something else other than Geordie Shore? Jonathan is intellectual.

roses are red violets are blue i use refrigerators to keep my food cool

Laugh

A lumberjack wearing women's underwear under his clothes walks into a bar. Several Canadian Mounties stand up and surround him, compliment him on his cooking and offer to go looking for some wild flowers for his herb collection.

A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

This is not a joke

Four surgeons are taking a coffee break: 1st surgeon says "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered." 2nd surgeon says "Nah, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order." 3rd surgeon says "Try electricians, man! Everything inside them is color coded." 4th surgeon says "I prefer Chelsea fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and asses are interchangeable."

why did the 11 year old boy stick his hand in a lawnmower nobody knows he hasnt come out of the coma yet

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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