A priest, a rabbi and a scientologist walk into a bar. They discuss their various religious viewpoints until the scientologist gets a call informing him of his mother's death. The priest buys him a drink. Then the priest gets a call informing him of his mothers death. The rabbi buys him a drink. The rabbi gets a call. The scientologist expects it to be about the rabbi's mother dying, so he prematurely buys him a drink. It was actually the lottery commission telling the rabbi he won 48 million dollars.

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Why did the guy playing Monopoly sell Boardwalk for $100 to the woman wearing an exotic outfit which shows off her boobs but wouldn't sell Boardwalk for $1000 to the other person that was playing the game? The other person had Park Place as well which would have given them a monopoly on the blue property if he had sold it to that person. And $100 is all the girl had or he would have asked for more but he needed the $100 in order to pay this other player and keep himself from going bankrupt after landing on one of his Hotels.

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Why are butt pirates butt pirates? Because they just ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR FRUITS

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So a guy goes to his doctor because he thinks he has an STD. He asks the doctor "how bad is it doc?" to which the doctor replies "Well, I got the test results and it doesn't look good. You've got chlamydia, gonorrhea, and onomatopoeia. The guy asks "What's onomatopoeia?" The doctor replies "It's exactly what it sounds like"

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If there are 2 narwhals and two apples, why is each of the narwhals happy? Because each is a narwhal.

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What did one muslim say to the other muslim? Nothing, muslims are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

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A black man and a white man were in a fight. Who won? I don't know. It was pay-per view and I didn't buy it.

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How do you make a clown cry? Kill his family

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who is jacked and looks like a beast? • James Cornish

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Knock knock. Knock knock. Knock knock. I'm hammering nails. Knock knock.

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Q. why did the blonde stare at the orange juice carton? A. it said concentrate.

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What did the Unicorn do with the Portal gun? Nothing. Neither of them are real.

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What's the difference between 4 and 6? 2.

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A program that creates "pointless inventions" and posts them at the wrong sections.

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How did Bob survive the plane crash? He didn't

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A Scotsman, an Irishman and an Englishman walk into a bar... They enjoy their drinks and leave.

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Why did Silly Billy throw a clock out the window? Because he has a serious anger problem.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What do you callan african american in KFC? A had working american with a average profit, trying to make a living.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt, it was hit by a car

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What is my favorite color? How the heck should I know?

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Q: What would happen if you didn't sleep all night? A: You would probably be really tired and start seeing things and speaking strange sentences as a result.

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What do you say to an over weight Jewish mother? "Work on those crunches" He was her coach.

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why did it take the black man 1.5 hours to get out of a movie theater? he wanted to patiently wait for the movie to end.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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