So a dog walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Quickly, someone give me the number for animal control."

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What does a Jew and an oven have in common? Bagels.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? I don't know, I've never tried to.

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what do you call a shitty anti-joke? A shitty anti-joke.

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Boy 1: Hey do you want my last chewing gum? Boy 2: Yeah please! Boy 1: Same. The boy continues to eat the chewing gum and finishes his shit wandering why the boy walked into the same cubicle as him.

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Red are roses, blue are violets I'm dislexic.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Batman. Batman who? Batman is stunned by the fact that there is in fact someone that does not know him.

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I'm so full I could stop eating.

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What did the blonde say when she found a dead bird on the sidewalk? "Aww, look at the poor dead bird!"

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There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

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In soviet russia...the abundance of natural oils and rich agricultural land provide it with a thriving economy

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Why did the man slowly cross the road? He had a prosthetic leg.

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A gay man walks into a pregnant woman

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Knock Knock Who's there? Johnny Johnny who? Johnny your son let me in mom! Son, I have something to tell you. What? Well, you're actually adopted *sobs*

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what do you say to a black guy on steroids? B!tch please

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I helped build the town school. But when people see me, no one says "Hey, there's the guy that built the town school." I helped put out the flames, when the city was on fire. But when people see me they don't say "Hey, there's the hero that saved the city." But I have sex with one goat.... And people judge me justifiably asd having sex with goats is really disgusting and sticks in peoples minds.

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What did the pineapple say to the apple? Nothing, neither can speak.

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What's worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in two dumpsters

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what is the difference between batman and a black guy. bat man is white

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How does Hitler tie his shoes? With little Nazis.

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Q: Whats black and white and red all over? A: I am unsure for I am color blind.

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Kid: My dad's brother has gone at it with a lot of women. Friend(sarcastically): Geez that's great! When was he born? Kid: '69

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what did the girl get with her blueberry waffles? blue waffles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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