What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves.

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I really did not understand the chapter. Is there anyway I can meet with you at a later time to discuss what I did wrong?

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Why did the semen cross the road? Because i put on the wrong socks this morning

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Do you know what Ethiopian food tastes like? Ethiopian food.

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So Helen Keller walked into a bar... and then a chair.... and then a table..

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what do you call a farm without animals a house with a big yard

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Who should you call when your dad overdoses on Viagra. Child Support

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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What was the last thing to go through Kurt Cobain's mind? His teeth.

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Cheetahs run at an alarmingly fast rate for short periods of time. Until I shoot them with harpoons.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I want to get you pregnant.

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Why did the tomato blush? A tomato's complexion is already red so it simply appears to be blushing

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when Life gives you lemons, make lemonade. So i made some lemonade. Turns out the lemons Kawazaki Life gave me were poisoned and i shortly die afterwards. i wouldve died cursing out her name but she was cute so i forgave her in my mind. and thus i die in peace.

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how many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 283,000,322,249,390

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What happens if you fell off a 600 foot cliff? You die.

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You attend a school atop a hill in the middle of the town. A river flows east of the hill, under the bridge built for the highway that runs two miles behind the school. You mother leaves for work at 6:00 a.m., and your brother leaves at 9:00 a.m. Schools starts at 7:30 a.m., and you have to pick up a sandwich on the way, for lunch. Also, you forgot to do an assignment that's due today, and it'll take you at least thirty minutes to complete it. How do you get to school on time? You walk.

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"what did the priest say to the rabbi?" "what" "my religions better

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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The opposing forces behind all human beings is not light vs darkness, not good vs evil, but fear vs ' love. Whatever is overwhelmingly good for one person, is evil to many. Overwhelming darkness wont allow you to see. Overwhelming light will make you blind. You can never fear overwhelming love. You can never love overwhelming fear. These are the true polar opposites, part of all emotion that drive the human being.

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If I give you 5 dollars, and you give me 5 dollars, then we both still have 5 dollars, which when combined will equal 10 dollars. Meaning we could buy something that cost's 10 dollars or less. But we should probably also factor in tax, so we should only buys something that costs a little over 9 dollars.

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What haircut did Timmy get at the barbershop? He didn't, he saved money from the barber by going through chemo.

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Whats the difference between a lemon and an ant? They're both yellow except for the lemon.

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yo mama so fat, she weighs 478 pounds and is in high risk of cardiovascular dieses and/or heart failure.

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What happens if you drop an yellow shirt into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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