What do you call something that shoots out a white gooey liquid? A shampoo bottle

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How do you tell if someone likes butter? You ask them

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? No. Oh don't worry then.

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Jesus sacrificed his life to prove that he was immortal. So where does the part where he gets nailed to a stick and beaten the shit out of fit in?

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm a bitch and so are u????????

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whats every colour and loved by everyone Mario

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I've been hearing a lot of Jew jokes lately, Anne Frankly I'm sick off it.

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What did the Norwegian say to the Englisman? ØLølølølÅæåøåæøåæåæåæåæåæåæåæå

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Who is big and stupid My brother

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knock knock whos there ben ben who ben ages since i seen you !!! vote this up please or a unicorn will die , unicorns are not real , but a moth can ride bikes so please vote this down

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Roses are red Zombies are hungry and blue My brain is half-eaten And what about you?

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How many clowns fit in a car? Depends how many get in the car.

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Knock knock *open*

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Q: What's the difference between a grasshopper and pencil? A: Lots

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"You can't get past" "I'll get future" dad cri mom cri boy bang girl girl cri women's rites sholdnt exist.

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wetly sucks dick just like teh boowb

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What is dull and has no point? A pencil without its point

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Hey! Where is my tracker?

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Why did the hockey cross the road? To get to KFC.

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Your mom is such a slut that your dad didn't even ask her if you were his biological child and raised you as if you were, regardless of what the dna results may suggest.

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Always do, always will, I have overcome far worse, doctor told my mother when I was born (without a heartbeat) that I was dead, and if they somehow managed to get me breathing again (heart beating etc) I would have suffered so much brain damage that I would not have a concious mind, in other words I would never have been able to learn anything, not to speak nor to type... ...Gotta say I pretty much fucking disagree with the "good" old doctor, and for the record, my heart is as healthy as... Healthy can be I am ambidextrous, but because of this eyedrum mutant thing of mine, I cant tell left from right, because well, to my radar senses both are left and right. Sorry if I am not making much sense here, just bleed a bit out of my nose, had it been from my ears, things could have gotten ugly, but no, its all good.

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs sitting at your doorstep? matt what do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in the water? bob what do you call a man that just had his daughter taken away from him? ...sam

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Women don't have penises. Am I the only one who can't get over how WEIRD that is?!?!?

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Sorry Liz, his sodium levels are so bad that while he is drinking a lot, his body is not containing water, and while his pulse and breath is fine he is passing out from time to time, he is asking for stimulants Ritalin specifically, but I am not sure if his body could withstand that, I really don't mind to pry, but does he use Ritalin? I mean he chats a lot, but ADHD? I am just asking out of health concerns, not that I am a doctor, but I just worry... Flirty personality... More like a clown, he says he refuses to eat unless I breastfeed him XD. He is eating now though, solids work, never had a tougher patient, he will make it for sure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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