Santa Clause, a smart blonde, and the Queen of England all jump out of a plane, which hits the ground first? Galileo's theory tells us that all objects fall at the same speed regardless of weight, so they all hit simultaneously.

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Mike and Richard were walking down the street together Richard left because of Mike's garlic breath

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How many police officers does it take to secure 3 hooded black men? However many police are on duty.

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Roses are red Violets are blue, I am sorry... But you have terminal cancer and are probably going to die in about 3 months

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Your momma is so stupid, because she didn't get a proper education

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What do you get when you cross a surfer and a black man? An angry surfer and an angry black man. You really should be nicer to people.

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What happened to the alcoholic man that decided to never drink ever again? He died of thirst. Moral: Alcohol was the only available liquid in this twilight zone... Anti anti joke

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Why is the fat man fat? Because he has an extremly bad metabolism which makes him gain two pounds from eating one cheeseburger

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what did the african say after he got beat by the cops? wow i really shouldn't have sliced that mans head off.

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Why did the squirrel fall out the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out the tree? It was stapled to the first squirrel Why did the the third squirrel fall out the tree? Peer pressure Why did the fourth squirrel fall out the tree? It thought it was a game Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a squirrel Why did the postman die? He got hit in the head by four squirrels and a tree

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

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What's worse than someone posting a number on antijoke ? Someone posting about what's worse than the holocaust

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Why can't the T-rex clap? Because it's extinct

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Why is cancer a big thing? -It has grown after the diagnoses

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Why couldnt the dog bark? The dog didnt exist.

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Q: Why is Alzheimer not funny? A: To get to the other side.

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why did the grandmom make rollerblades into cookies? because she had dementia

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how did the girl with a hook-hand do her hair? She didn't

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Guess what? AIDS!

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What do Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton, and Pamela Anderson all have in common? All of their last names end with an "n"

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What is the difference between a rabbit and a plum? A: They are both purple, except for the rabbit!

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is something I love to eat, the other is a watermelon.

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Compton

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How do you teach an old dog a new trick? Answer: You can't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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