You attend a school atop a hill in the middle of the town. A river flows east of the hill, under the bridge built for the highway that runs two miles behind the school. You mother leaves for work at 6:00 a.m., and your brother leaves at 9:00 a.m. Schools starts at 7:30 a.m., and you have to pick up a sandwich on the way, for lunch. Also, you forgot to do an assignment that's due today, and it'll take you at least thirty minutes to complete it. How do you get to school on time? You walk.

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If you are reading this you are a nerd

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A man visits his doctor for an annual checkup. "Doc, I feel great! I'm running 5 miles a day, I just got promoted at work, and sex with my wife has never been better!" A few weeks later, his doctor calls him in. When he arrives, the doctor looks at him grimly. "I have some bad news. You have lung cancer." "But how? I don't smoke. My wife doesn't smoke. I have never felt better." The doctor pats him on the back, reassuringly. "This may be true, but you still have lung cancer."

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GUESS WHAT ?????????? THATS WHAT CAOMHIN

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What do you call a person that is green, wearing plaid, and standing next to you in the elevator? What ever their name is

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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God made rivers God made lakes God made you We all make misstakes

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What's worse, a dog dying or cancer? The Holocaust.

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Whatever you do in life, give 100%… unless you’re giving blood.

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The Sun is vital to our human existence on the Earth. It also causes cancer.

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My dads so gay he has sex with other men for fun.

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How do u make a hockey player cry You Kill his entire family

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A black man "walks into" a club. Several minutes later he is dead. The police, in a later press conference, refuse to admit that the club ever left the officer's belt.

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Mary- Hey Dallas, do you have a suitcase? Dallas- Yeah, why? Mary- I need a suitcase

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Why is there air? To blow up basketballs

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? It was taped to the other monkey

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What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy?

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Guess what? What. This joke isn't funny

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Sasquatch. Sasquatch who? ROAR

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I stole your wallet and used to buy a prostitute. I had a great time. What was the question again?

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ded on boomer and aodddan

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Anti-Joke Delivery Service. Oh, just leave it by the door.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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