Why did the banana explode? Because it was a grenade!

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I was walking down the street next thing I new 15 blacks and Hispanics died in a dive buy. The next day every white guy in the cars doin the drive buy blew up ohwell

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whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer

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why did the little girl fell off the bed? because she saw his father rape her sister after killing his mother years ago, and every time she goes to sleep, she remembers that and the images come back to haunt her

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not sally

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Knock knock Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? T get to the other side of the road

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Which of the following is the biggest? A. 7 B. 17 C. 71 D. Yo mama

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What do bluejays and cardinals have in common? They both Were born during the Medevil period.

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whats do dinosaurs and people have in common? one of them is extinct.

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A Japanese man, a Canadian man and a French woman walk into a bar. They do not converse because they don't speak the same language.

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What did the mexican say when two houses fell on him? Nothing. He was dead.

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What's black and hanging on a tree in my backyard? Blackberries.

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Where do babies come from? My sex dungeon

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Q. What did the dog say to the cat? A. Ruff.

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Ian's mind Elevator music

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What do you do if a bird shuts on your windscreen? A:never take her out again.

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What is large, heavy, tastes like poptarts, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A semi truck full of poptarts

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This is Nero, the guy striving a bit with the fact that he killed his mother in order to save his wife a month or so before Christmas: cathphra is Exceedingly well read, I say than you. I had a nightmare tonight, my parents where serving tomato soup, while my mother made great food (despite the fact they discovered that it was not angel dust she used, but large quantities of opiate that would have killed an elephant) But this time they served me dry tomato soup (that from packages) and a bowl of lukewarm soup. I asked: How am I supposed to mix this? They both gave me the look of "here comes a beating" I started calling my mother many things that horsehead network sensors, then my father grabbed my neck and tried to twist my head off (and in this dream, rather than in reality, he actually succeeded) but I somehow managed to remain alive. Then I yelled in english: THIS IS BECAUSE I KILLED YOU! I HAVE NO SOUL TO TAKE! Only then I realized it was a dream and woke up...You know, because my parents never spoke English so they would not have understood me... I have a broken vertebrae in my neck to prove that my father tried quite hard to break my neck in reality at least... Yeah, I am mostly over it, I killed my father when he tried to break my neck because I kept scatching my ortopedic arm while studying (real arm which my mother cut off and then proceeded to beat me up with funny story actually) Then killed my mother years later when she stabbed my girlfriend induced under what turned out to be a heavy dose of opiates, and paralgin forte (which main ingredent is... you guessed it MORE opiates).

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david give me my money back... i will have it next week

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Why did you loose the basketball game? Because they scored more points than us.

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I really don't like Holocaust jokes. My grandfather died in the Holocaust. He fell off of a guard tower.

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An airplane's engine suddenly blows up in the middle of its flight. The pilot turns around and sees a blonde and a brunette. He turns to his right and sees only two parachutes. The pilot says "Ok guys, only two-" Then the plane blows up.

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why did the black man get kicked out of the hospital? nothing was wrong with him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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